tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-63563634609650436982024-02-21T16:39:17.995+00:00Jody Stowellwriting on Religion, Feminism, Community and the Life of a PriestJody Stowellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15534042687275254272noreply@blogger.comBlogger432125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6356363460965043698.post-88009731371177702432018-02-12T12:44:00.003+00:002018-02-12T12:45:20.863+00:00The Abundant Life of a Broken Heart 4: On Joy<br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;">Joy is a strange emotion to engage with and perhaps
even stranger to feel when you are in the midst of also journeying with
anxiety. But as I've said before the reality of my anxious life, is that it is
not a case of being compartmentalised, of one or the other, of being sick, then
being well. All these things are mixed together. And so joy and pain are met
together.</span></div>
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Joy is the heart emotion that is perhaps most difficult to take hold of. It
comes sometimes from nowhere and disappears like a wisp. As we are approaching
Lent I'm reminded of the prayer of committal, prayed at funerals, from psalm
103.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">For he knows of what we are made; <o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;">he remembers that we are but dust. <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;">Our days are like the grass; <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;">we flourish like a flower of the field; <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;">when the wind goes over it, it is gone <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;">and its place will know it no more.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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There is something about joy, about flourishing, which is about being dust. Joy
comes from a place which knows ourselves the most deeply, knows our mortality,
knows our failings, knows our <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">dustliness</i>.
I find myself most joyful in the face of the fleeting reality of ‘me’. When I
accept my inconstancy and my total inability to keep myself alive, this is the
place of joy, freedom and playfulness. </span></div>
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When I no longer need to worry, or be anxious, about portraying myself as
perfect, as impassable, this is the place where the chains come off and I am
liberated. My flourishing is dependent on my utter dependence on God for my
next breath. Joy is dependent on the capacity of human beings, to be able to
die, to let go, to let our self go, to be transformed. The capacity for joy is
dependent on our capacity for pain. Joy and pain are met together, life and
death kiss each other... </span></div>
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Anxiety is rooted in the part of the brain which protects us from death. It
sounds like a good thing in that respect, and it can protect us from being
reckless, protect us from a certain kamikaze attitude to our self, perhaps
borne out of a self-hatred.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is not
what we are invited to, when we are invited to accept death as the gateway to
life. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In that sense, embracing the
capability that we have for death is not a wish to die.</span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;">But it is from this place that the anxious heart
can work either for or against our flourishing. The mechanism in the brain that
deals with anxiety, incites us to fight, flight or freeze. To do whatever we
can to avoid pain and death. If I allow myself to be consumed by this urge and
to stay with it in a prolonged way, then the purpose and manner of my life
becomes the avoidance of death. This is not the way of joy. Joy is not simply
the avoidance of pain. The anxious mind can fool us into thinking that this is
the case. And sometimes there is a need to do just that, to avoid, in order to
take a breath, a step back, regain perspective, or heal. The problem is when
this becomes a way of life. The temptation can be strong. </span></div>
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But the anxious mind can also help on the path to joy. Simply because the
anxious mind is drawn towards the acknowledgement, if not always the
acceptance, of death and of our mortal bones. The anxious mind is often in the
best place, then, to make this journey to acceptance of mortality and therefore
to the place of freedom from having to 'save our life'. And in this place of
freedom, away from living in this defensive way, is the potential for true
flourishing and the joy that can only be found in becoming the person God has
made us to be. In knowing that we are dust brought to life, and only sustained
in that life, by the breath of God, we are released from having to be our own
source of life and joy. </span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;">Often we, I, am caught up in the idea that I am in
control of, or to put it more positively, responsible for, my own
happiness.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is what we are
taught.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You must grasp it for yourself
and if you are not happy, then really, it is your own fault.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You are the master of your own destiny…or
something.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But joy is that thing which
takes us by surprise, and over which we have no control, it enters our heart through
the back door and is often found in the most inconsequential of things.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Such as the breath or heartbeat that we are
given each moment, neither of which we have any control over.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;">Perhaps the wisdom of pursuing joy is that it
cannot be pursued, controlled, manipulated or manoeuvred.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The way to joy is to know our capacity for
pain. And as we journey to Lent, to be reminded that we must know Christ in his
suffering, so that we may join him in his resurrection.</span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;">Maybe I am invited to leave a little nook in my
heart for the surprises of God to delight me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>To remember that joy is a gift, just as my breath and my heartbeat are
gifts.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What I have to bring, is to pay
attention to those gifts and to be grateful.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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REFLECTION - PSALM 103.13,14<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span><br />
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;">As a father has compassion for his children,<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;">so the Lord has compassion for those who fear him. <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;">For he knows how we were made<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;">he remembers that we are dust. <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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As we head towards Lent, I am reminded why this is, I think, my favourite part
of the Church's year. I am at my most liberated on the Ash Wednesdays of my
life. Those moments when I am able to receive the ash, real or metaphorical,
and hear the words 'remember you are but dust and to dust you will return, turn
from sin and be faithful to Christ'.</span></div>
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These are the moments I’m at my most real, where I am freed to say 'I am a
sinner' and therefore feel the full force of what it means to receive the grace
of God. All the verses in </span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;">Scripture which speak of us being sinners and the
necessity for us to confess our sins, sing in my heart. Because it is in this
reality and in the bearing all before God, the nakedness of our heart and soul,
that God loves us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Only in the love of
God, I am able to return to Christ again, because whilst I am still a sinner,
God comes to save me.</span></div>
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And honestly, that brings me joy.</span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
</div>
Jody Stowellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15534042687275254272noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6356363460965043698.post-82669099552523610132018-01-23T11:38:00.003+00:002018-01-23T11:39:02.113+00:00The Abundant Life of a Broken Heart 3: On Pain<br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 107%;">I wanted to write about my experience of anxiety in a way that rejects
the binary narrative of 'either' being, for example, happy 'or' being sad. That
reflects the reality of my life which has life and death all mixed up and
sometimes, often, feels like the experience of living is brighter and more </span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 107%;">real, for being in the midst of a sense of dying.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgp9I-t_OIRC_5nXUCwEa5XIltBvQZL5KlJOF1yhqm7yUpdR7QG3QuKFO6-XxqWTfSX0VyEQDRe6y0C0pRYRiAJhrDuYuzV4kWnytw9TJI0iQQrEN3IyqoCjZkCLE7bGJ7orbsEqeLpW-U/s1600/crown+of+thorns.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="372" data-original-width="672" height="177" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgp9I-t_OIRC_5nXUCwEa5XIltBvQZL5KlJOF1yhqm7yUpdR7QG3QuKFO6-XxqWTfSX0VyEQDRe6y0C0pRYRiAJhrDuYuzV4kWnytw9TJI0iQQrEN3IyqoCjZkCLE7bGJ7orbsEqeLpW-U/s320/crown+of+thorns.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 107%;"></span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 107%;">I have also wanted to write with the honesty that this is not something which
is 'fixed' or, to be honest needs fixing. That in the particularity of my own
personhood, this is how my brain works. Sometimes the anxiety is more intense
or less intense, but either way it gives me certain lenses through which I
perceive the world, myself and others. And, perhaps difficult to understand, I
am thankful for these lenses.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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All this to explain that instead of writing about Joy which was my intention
this week, I'm writing on Pain. Because the last couple of weeks have felt
painful in this regard, and I want to be truthful about what that is like. And
no better time for that, than when you're in it.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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These moments tend to come for me when I've had a period of chronic anxiety,
often circumstances catalyse this, and I feel gently nervous over a long period
of time. It's not always unpleasant, a little like being excited, butterflies
ever present in your stomach. But there can come a moment of crisis, where
either this is alleviated, or intensifies. For me the last couple of weeks have
felt like an intensification. The sense of 'threat' descends. The almost
pleasant butterfly sensation tightens and becomes nausea, the desire to
hibernate is Very Strong.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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I have some idea why this has happened right now, I think the best explanation
is 'shit happens'. Nevertheless the point is what do I do with this pain? How
do I make sense of it and myself?<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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It is so easy to want it away and a good proportion of me, the perfectionist
control freak part, is really quite pissed off. I really really hate being
vulnerable. I especially hate it when it seems to have taken charge. If I am to
be vulnerable, I want to offer this to you in manageable bite sized pieces, in
an order that is chosen by me and of which I am in control. Instead of what
feels like a churning frothing whirlpool of vomit that will erupt without
warning and make a mess.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 107%;">So even if I wanted to (and I mostly do), it is impossible for me to control
these emotions. The only thing is to deal with the vomit. In terms of the
Christian faith I walk, it's the reality of sitting with the suffering. Of
touching the leper. The leper that is me, needs to be embraced, as a leper,
before any healing and restoration can begin. I need to embrace the parts of me
that I struggle with, the needy wounded, suffering parts. <br />
<br />
Sitting with pain and refraining from taking on the role of Job's comforters
towards myself. Allowing the pain to be noticed, to exist and for that to be
okay - not that it feels okay necessarily, but that it's okay that it's not
okay.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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Now, I suppose there is a question about 'wallowing'. Sitting with pain in such
a way that is unhealthy. Or perhaps that's just my question? (cross reference
Perfectionist Control Freak) I guess my approach to this is that there is a
fine line between a healthy embrace of one's woundedness and becoming consumed,
but this line has to be walked, there is only this path. <br />
<br />
What does sitting with pain look like? It looks like silent prayer - no busy
words, no platitudes, no petitions, just 'here I am'. It looks like pause and
paying attention - not rushing through the day, but taking the time to
recognise what's going on in your head and heart, naming the particular pain
whether it's anxiety, fear, shame, anger, notice it and mention it to yourself
and God. It looks like being incredibly kind to yourself, parenting and
pastoring yourself well. It looks like inviting people to help you, not to fix
you, but to know your vulnerability. Do Not Hibernate - this is my strongest
temptation, it is a way of controlling the pain but it does not engage with it,
it hopes it will pass without having to think about it. </span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 107%;">It is euthanasia.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 107%;">It will, as all things, pass. But pain teaches us. It teaches me about the
kindness of God and that wrath and anger is in my own heart. It teaches me that
God is good and I'm reminded that he touches the leper, the bleeding woman, the
sinners, so I am not untouchable.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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Soon the Threat Level will decrease, and I pray that I do not forget.</span></div>
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<br />
REFLECTION - PSALM 86<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Incline your ear, O Lord, and answer me, for I am poor and needy.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 10;"> </span>Ps
86.1<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 107%;"><br />
The go to place in the bible for pain must surely be the Psalms of Lament. And
Psalm 86 captures for me such a lot of what it means to pay attention to and
sit with your pain. There is no running away from what is going on in the
emotions.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 107%;">And verse one particularly draws me, because it is honest about being needy.
One of the things I find most difficult is the reality of my own need. I don't
want to be needy, I don't want to be perceived as needy and I don't want to
accidently leak my need all over you because I want to be self sufficient.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 107%;">
The difficulty here is not in being helped and supported by other people but
when we think another person can fill the abyss of our need. This is a sign
that we are not okay with our own neediness. We want someone to fix it, knowing
we can't do it ourselves.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 107%;">The psalm orientates me to God, to the belovedness that I have in God, from
where all need is satisfied. In the words of the psalm I am 'allowed' to be
needy, but I am not in need of the absence of my need, I am in need in the
presence of love, grace and mercy. Wholeness is not in the taking away of the
pain, but in the abundance of God. <o:p></o:p></span>Jody Stowellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15534042687275254272noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6356363460965043698.post-18405309999123746362018-01-15T10:47:00.000+00:002018-01-15T10:57:47.493+00:00The Abundant Life of a Broken Heart 2: On Dying<div style="text-align: justify;">
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">In living with the particular broken heartedness that is anxiety, I have
tried to be very intentional about the 'living' part, that <a href="http://jodystowell.blogspot.co.uk/2018/01/the-abundant-life-of-broken-heart-1-on.html">I wrote about last time</a>. But there is also something to say about dying.<br />
<br />
For me (I will make this caveat a lot, because I want you to know that
everyone's journey is different, and I don't want you to assume another's
journey with anxiety is the same), there are two ways in which I experience the
concept of dying. Firstly, and commonly I believe for the anxious, when I am in
a high state of anxiety, a panic attack for example, or a long phase of 'higher
than usual' chronic anxiety, I might actually think I'm dying, right there, or
that I have a non curable illness. In my teenage years I spent a lot of the
time thinking I had a brain tumour - not helped by the physical symptoms
brought on by what I now know to be anxiety: headaches, lack of focus,
forgetfulness. Ongoing anxiety over long periods of time can end in
hypochondria for me. Something that is useful to know, so that I can talk to
my soul in gentleness, humour and a good pinch of 'you will die, but probably
not right now, and it's probably just a headache'.<br />
<br />
I also find myself much less tolerant of the compartmentalisation of the human
person. The dismissal of some dis-eases as 'psychosomatic' (and therefore
fake). One of the benefits of having the reflective/anxious mind that I do, is
that I have seen the interaction of mind body soul in such a way that I no
longer find it simple to separate our human personhood. We are never simply
physical or mental or spiritual. We are human. I blame Plato for this western
preoccupation with analysing human existence into building blocks.<br />
<br />
Some call issues with anxiety a 'mental' health issue. And yet I feel it in my
body and soul. It is not simply how I think. Sometimes my mind makes my body
rigid or tremble, I might struggle to know how to be 'in' my body. I find it
interesting that one of the bodily symptoms of stress is chest pain, often
muscular, or palpitations, from the reptilian brain telling the adrenal gland
to fire into action. People often think they're having a heart attack. And
often what makes me 'well' is to concentrate on my breath. To sit with my feet
planted on the ground, rooted in creation, connected with the creator in a very
physical way. Or when I go to my dance class, and I can feel every bit of my
body, how I move, delight in the body, I'm reminded of being a body who is
alive because of the breath of life, the spark of life which has been gifted to
me, and all creation. My body does not simply carry my brain or soul around, my
body is somehow an expression of my very self. And what I do with my body is
inextricable from who I am in my mind and soul. If you need any convincing just
read the first letter of Paul to the Corinthians and pay particular attention
to chapter 15.<br />
<br />
This link between anxiety and the fear of dying must also of course stimulate
reflection on the reality of dying. For we will all die. In fact sometimes I
have observed that the anxious are at least not in denial about this. The joy
of living that I experience is sometimes hard won, sometimes it slips from me,
but it also is never superficial and is perhaps because, not in spite of, the fact I
know I will die. <br />
<br />
This takes me on to the second way in which the idea of dying impacts me. And
that is the very real, mind body soul, reality, that in order to live, I must
die. I guess this is what Paul talks about as dying to self. We often interpret
this as about being less selfish. Perhaps this makes us feel better about the dying
part. But for me this is a real death. It has been about the image I hold in my
head of who I am. One of the hardest things to allow to die is the idea of
being strong or invulnerable somehow. Of being self sufficient, independent.
When I had my first acute period of anxiety and took medication to help
alleviate the constant adrenalin rush, I told myself that it was pure
circumstance that had somehow knocked me off balance. The second time, well...
there were some circumstances, but…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">I began to think
about the reality of me. Of how 'I' was reacting to my circumstances. That I
might accept, even value, the vulnerability that I clearly have. And in this
growing accepting of this vulnerability (still in process), there is a dying
involved. I had to let go of a self which ancient philosophy, modern
psychotherapy and the mystics call 'the false self', because this is the only way to live. To allow resurrection.<br />
<br />
It is still difficult for me. I kinda like the 'old woman' I thought
I was. And sometimes she is more comfortable and safe. This is false of course,
but it takes energy to resist her. Although I think I mostly know now that she
isn't real. <br />
<br />
And I know that Resurrection is true and is coming. Because I have experienced
resurrection with a small 'r' and it’s given me a foretaste and a longing. And
there are days, they come more often, where I really do know myself dead and
alive.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">1 COR 15 REFLECTION<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">For a long time I have loved 1Cor15. The images of death as the gateway
to life have resonated strongly with the reality of my own life and that
proclamation of v31 'I die everyday!' delights me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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</div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">As if when I awake, my first breath is my dying breath. Breathing out
the 'old woman' who suffocates me and breathing in the Breath who brings me to
life.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">Paul's assertion of the bodily resurrection is so readily missed in our
contemporary Christian story. Even though bodies have begun to be recovered in
our resurrection theology, most people still have this view that heaven is
floaty spirit creatures. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">But for me the death of the acorn and the birth of the oak tree is so
thrilling. The tree has everything to do with the acorn and yet who would have
the imagination that the one grew from the other? And in the body, the wrinkles
and grey hairs that are appearing as a sign of my movement towards this real
life, are glorious. The anti-aging movement is a disgrace really - it is offering a pseudo-youth, which is in fact real death, a denial of the truth that aging, dying, is a sign of living, and Life. And don't we see that the tree is surely more solid, real, lasting than the
seed. The seed is beautiful but its purpose is always to be the place of
nurture from which the tree explodes!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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</div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">Our life now though, is not simply a dying. We are not here as some waiting room for the real thing, it could be easy to misinterpret that and many have. Many have said that what we do and who we are now is of no real consequence, but that is far from what Paul is saying. Resurrection as Paul states,
starts now. Each day the choice is before us. To begin the dying so that we
might begin, now, to live. 'I die every day!'</span></div>
</div>
Jody Stowellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15534042687275254272noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6356363460965043698.post-8698364811262676012018-01-06T14:25:00.001+00:002018-01-06T14:26:46.168+00:00The Abundant Life of a Broken Heart 1: On Living<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">I have often wondered about writing about what it is like to
live with anxiety as a disorder.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Especially
as a priest, probably especially as a woman priest, and <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">definitely</i> as a control freak, it can be difficult to admit vulnerability.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have occasionally written the odd comment,
and I certainly haven’t hidden my experiences, but often these are written with
the perhaps disingenuous implication that everything is all fixed.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">I haven’t meant it to be like that of course (or perhaps I
have), it is very easy to give the impression of, what is it…wholeness
perhaps?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To be fixed, to be self‑sufficient,
to be in need of nothing is the goal to which our western culture draws
us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Easy then, to proclaim from the
safety of Twitter that ‘I will pray for you’, or to even say ‘we all need
prayer, I have needed prayer’, it reveals nothing of our own present
vulnerability, and the ‘now-ness’ of vulnerability is important to share.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I recently heard someone describe it as the difference
between transparency and vulnerability.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>We can often switch one for the other, giving clarity and a pseudo-vulnerability
in place of the real thing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We are, I
am, desperate not to be needy.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">So, I wonder what it is like to write in the present.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Because the reality is that<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>this is always my present.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have lived with anxiety all my life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It isn’t a ‘disorder’ it is simply ‘me’.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is how I process the world around me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It has on occasion, become a little
overwhelming and I’ve needed medical help to restore the balance of my brain,
but perhaps surprisingly to others, needing medication hasn’t been the defining
mark of having an anxious heart, the vast majority of this life has been in the
daily walk, the daily choosing to live with courage.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">I am thankful that I have had the capacity to make that
choice.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t take it lightly that
this is a mercy, and I don’t expect anyone else’s experience of anxiety to
match my own.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For some the choice for
life has been taken from them by the nature and severity of their particular
condition.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And there have been, and <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">are</i> (the now-ness being important…),
moments where I feel exhausted by having to make such an active choice to live
expansively, generously, courageously.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>And perhaps often I don’t.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But
the moments where I have had victory are so definitive, that they are to me the
defining characteristics of this, my, anxious life.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">Perhaps it is strange to talk about an anxious life, as one
which is marked by courage?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And yet what
else would I call it when, at one point, I had to instruct my soul that ‘this
is the day that the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it’.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>An instruction to Joy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is on writing those words that I recoil a
little – I don’t want to expose myself and that reality feels exposing, but I
shall continue because there is a little voice in my head which dares anyone to
call it weakness.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This steely resolve to
damn well live abundantly, I think I’ve always had that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sometimes it can be a little kamikaze, a kind
of ‘fuck it’ mentality, which isn’t careful enough with my own vulnerability.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But there was a moment a long time ago when I
decided that I wouldn’t say no to things because I was afraid.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can say no because I don’t have enough
time, the right skills, the inclination, but I must not say no because I am
afraid.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And for the most part I obey
that voice and, for the most part, I think this has been a friendly voice in my
head.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">One of the things that has helped to make these choices
towards abundant life and away from a narrow, desiccated life, is the cultivation
of the imagination.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As a child, I wrote
stories, read stories, sometimes far too often lived in a dream world.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This imaginative nature, I think made me an adventurer,
a risk taker, by default.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A life which
is defined and contained by its anxiety is only going to get smaller and
smaller, as I try to control the risks that are inherent in life, to make the anxiety
go away. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is counteracted by
imagination. I suppose one of my choices was to live with the risk of living, of
not knowing what was over the horizon and heading for it anyway – that’s where
the stories are told. Like Reepicheep this has been the overriding attraction –
there is <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">more</i>!<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt 36pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">“'Where sky and water meet, Where the
waves grow sweet, Doubt not, Reepicheep, To find all you seek, There is the
utter East.' <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I do not know what it means.
But the spell of it has been on me all my life." </i>(Voyage of the Dawn
Treader, italics mine)<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 107%;"><o:p><span style="font-family: "calibri";"> </span></o:p></span><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">And of course, as with Reepicheep, the ‘more’ I seek, is Aslan’s
Country and the One who, when all is said and done, defines me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Only He gets to do that, not you, not even
me, and certainly not a label.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know
that when I look at that Face, I will know myself, and my heart will be
quiet.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Because to live the abundant life
with an anxious, tender, broken heart, for me, has been about allowing that
heart to be restless, to seek what it desires.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>To be ‘okay’ that sometimes I would rather hide and that sometimes,
hiding is okay.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But that sometimes, even
often, the song which sang Creation into being, is calling me, like a siren,
and even if there are rocks in the ocean, leviathan in the deep, anxiety in my
heart, I will go.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 107%;"><o:p><span style="font-family: "calibri";"> </span></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">JOHN 1O REFLECTION</span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt 36pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">The thief comes only to steal and
kill and destroy. I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly. John
10.10<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">The passage that talks most famously and directly about the abundant
life of the disciple, is from John’s Gospel.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The passage that brings to life the image of the Good Shepherd.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is perhaps one of the most conflicted images
in scripture.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And it is good for the
anxious to ponder.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Shepherd is the
image of safety, the thief or the ‘bandit’ is the image of fear or destruction,
together with the bears, wolves and lions (oh my!), the thief and the wild
animals sit in the background of this image.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The lurking darkness which we find in Genesis 4, has resonance
here.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There is something snapping at
your heels, you see it out of the corner of your eye, the hairs stand up on
your neck, but the predator is always just out of sight.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">For the anxious, the safe place is the sheep pen, and is thought
all the safer for the presence of the Shepherd. All is well, in the pen, with
the Shepherd.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Shepherd is safety.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But the Shepherd does not allow the sheep to
stay in the pen.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Shepherd arrives
and leads the sheep out, goes ahead, and they follow him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They go in and out, freely. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The concerning thing is that the abundant life
is one which offers freedom, not penned in, but one in which…you might get
lost.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">Even worse, the image of the thief, the lurking darkness,
keeps you in the pen.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The illusion of
safety. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The frightened sheep ends up
staying in the pen to be safe, but loses out on life.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">The image is switched: the Shepherd, who is also the gate,
lets the sheep out, out into the potential world of danger, but <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">the thief has already climbed over the wall
and is in the pen.<o:p></o:p></b></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">My anxiety tells me that I am safer maintaining the status
quo of my life, doing what I can control, and only that, then I will be safe.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is an illusion.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I do not have control and the thief is
already in the pen.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">The best place for me is to take the risk of following the
Shepherd.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I might get lost.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
Jody Stowellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15534042687275254272noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6356363460965043698.post-62570476869774890842018-01-06T09:30:00.001+00:002018-01-06T09:30:03.520+00:00Christmas Ode<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Christmas Ode</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyY9-R-T6OL0dIpER3y3zxv91V3YNPsd2MyXRgIjiN0uGC3-GG3Mid1VQimQWKD97mf5ZwVtx-Mtyf8CeGfz4YmlK6hryjJ4YktCxk_ENPtfb7gWfziNMRkar9ClGgshaxMkQju1rkcR0/s1600/2017-12-08+08.46.54.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1131" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyY9-R-T6OL0dIpER3y3zxv91V3YNPsd2MyXRgIjiN0uGC3-GG3Mid1VQimQWKD97mf5ZwVtx-Mtyf8CeGfz4YmlK6hryjJ4YktCxk_ENPtfb7gWfziNMRkar9ClGgshaxMkQju1rkcR0/s200/2017-12-08+08.46.54.jpg" width="141" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">[painting by Rev Laura Ferguson]</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">So you think you know the story<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">of Christmas pretty well?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Universe created, chaos ordered<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Humans fell,<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><o:p><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Chose a different path<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Which fractured everything<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">We detoured this whole journey<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">To this little baby king<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><o:p><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">God’s plan to bring us wholeness<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Was always set in Jesus<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">But our foray out of Eden<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Meant God’s plan had now to save us<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><o:p><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>In Abram God was still our God<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">But he didn’t get it either<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Sold his wife to Pharaoh<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">God cursed Egypt – that’s a side bar<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><o:p><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Which will come up again<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">As Egypt is a symbol<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">For all that keeps us slaves<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Liberation is the end goal.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><o:p><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">So Abraham and Sarah<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Both are given the great promise<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Though they can’t have kids<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Cos their old and he’s no Adonis<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><o:p><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">But God says that’s no barrier<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">They will birth a nation<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Sarah<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Becca, Rachel’s son<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><o:p><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Joseph is how they end up<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">in Egypt, doing well<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">400 years pass in a blip<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">And now it’s a living hell<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><o:p><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">God chooses Moses as their Saviour<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">He is not so keen<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Send someone else, he says to God<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">But he went and we have seen<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><o:p><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">So many movies of the plagues<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">And Pharaoh’s stubborn heart<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">God liberates God’s people<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Not before Egypt’s torn apart<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 5;"> </span>….by
Pharoah’s stubborn heart.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><o:p><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">So off God’s people trot<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Spend some time wand’ring the desert<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Complaining that they should have stayed<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">In slav’ry…no, they didn’t get it.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><o:p><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">But before we write them off<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">As stupid people from times past<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Let’s check ourselves and all the times<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">We choose what doesn’t last<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><o:p><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">We are bitter, mean and angry<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Ungenerous and small<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Those people sat in the desert<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Are not far from us at all.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><o:p><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">They end up far from God though<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">‘shipping idols made of gold<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Yet God still gives the Ten Words<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Which bring life to them of old.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Here’s how to live they say<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">So that things will go quite well<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Live like this, you’ll know God’s
blessing<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Will they do it? <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Who can tell?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><o:p><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">No, you’re right, they didn’t do it,<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Instead of slaves, became the masters<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Cheating, treating people badly<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Where will this go?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My nerve’s in tatters!<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><o:p><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Well off to exile’s where they went<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">To learn that that’s what happens<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Choose to oppress, you’ll be oppressed<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">In Babylon’s hanging gardens<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><o:p><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Back in slav’ry they have gone<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">And so return to God<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Please come and get us, save us, bless
us<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">And God doesn’t say sod<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><o:p><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Off.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I know, I don’t get it either<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">But that is how God rolls<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">And if we are all honest<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Aren’t we glad that’s how this unfolds<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><o:p><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">So God rescues them again<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Again and again again<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">This cycle of unfaithfulness to God<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Goes on again again<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><o:p><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Again again again again<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Until we end up here<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Romans are the new Egypt<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">They’re the ones to fear<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><o:p><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">And this is where the rescue plan<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Needs something a little special<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">So Mary finds herself on the<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">end of a message from an angel<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><o:p><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">‘Here’s God’s plan’, Gabriel says<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">A baby, are you in?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">‘A little freaked, but sure’, she says<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">‘You say he’ll sort out all the Sin?’<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><o:p><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">‘The Sin which keeps us all as slaves,<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Which keeps our souls in chains,<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Which is the start of all the wars,<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Injustice, tyrants’ reigns’<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><o:p><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">‘Which cracked the world at the
beginning<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">And so we live with cracks<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">With earthquakes, storms and great
tsunamis<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Pain, death and all the lack<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><o:p><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">‘Of food, whilst others are so full and
fat<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Sin isn’t just the stuff<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">we do, it’s all that isn’t right,<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">It’s the rabid lack of love’<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><o:p><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">‘Will this baby sort the whole damn lot<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Is that to what I’m saying Yes?’<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">‘Yes’ said Gabriel, then ‘Yes’ said Mary<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">‘Glad that’s sorted…there’ll be a mess’<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><o:p><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">‘Sure, but don’t you worry Mary<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">You are part of this whole story<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">You are needed in this bit<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Because you are so ordinary’<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><o:p><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">‘The shepherds are whose coming next<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">To represent the outcast<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">And then the Persians bringing gifts<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">All here, the first and last’<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><o:p><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">‘And last of all are those who hear<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">This story being told<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">In Churches up and down the land<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Each Christmas in the cold’<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><o:p><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">‘This story which includes all them<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Who briefly dare to come<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">And hear once more the tale of God<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Who left a heav’nly home’<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
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<span><o:p><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">‘Remember when you hear this ode<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">That the story started then<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">With Universe created, chaos ordered<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Humans fell….I won’t repeat again’<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><o:p><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">‘This is your story too, and know<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">God’s waiting for your Yes<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">There’s no bigger plot surprise<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: 16pt;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">For you…God stepped into the mess.’<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
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</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"></span> </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">[painting by Rev Laura Ferguson]</span></div>
Jody Stowellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15534042687275254272noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6356363460965043698.post-21671232070716916262014-07-08T22:18:00.000+01:002014-07-08T22:19:46.959+01:00Specks and Planks: Gay People as the Scapegoats of our Generation<div style="text-align: justify;">
I've been a very busy bee over the last little while, however I wanted to draw you attention to <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w7-5fJTyuAA#t=549">this video</a> from Diverse Church.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgB9mOfZsjq_AIACdgV28VOZOkDsFozk2iP2uYS4wFtcIW5LfYsTMrhLVlrLfBnSVT9dpfP0zLamIWLJpb8zRntx4zLPkRqY-pvrhEbJYNbiWvKJGfEIbHdpU_HhCD4ZZce-UND6su1vNo/s1600/diverse+church.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; display: inline !important; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgB9mOfZsjq_AIACdgV28VOZOkDsFozk2iP2uYS4wFtcIW5LfYsTMrhLVlrLfBnSVT9dpfP0zLamIWLJpb8zRntx4zLPkRqY-pvrhEbJYNbiWvKJGfEIbHdpU_HhCD4ZZce-UND6su1vNo/s1600/diverse+church.jpeg" height="200" width="200" /></a>As I mentioned with regards my departure from Fulcrum, I'm an advocate of finding, making, being in a space where there is room for conversation, especially on the issue of sexuality. Sadly we haven't been very good at making those spaces (understatement of the year). But the new kid on the block, Diverse Church, has managed to do something that other groups haven't. In short they've stated in all that they are and do that it's just not about YOU.</div>
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For Diverse Church they are entirely there for those young gay Christians who have found the courage to be who they are: lovers of Jesus and gay, finding these things not incompatible. But they don't have to *prove* that to <i>you</i>, or me, or any other person. They are about being disciples of Christ and encouraging others to do the same: encouraging others that it is possible. That God <i>knows </i>being gay is part of their story with God.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUmR8RFpCV3oVCAnt9SbO6ixSPgo0l2V1qjrbTaBBALpQkEyApbNhiWg7nRl-FA3Qzmyh_dd3yt-e0lL1xCjFd38cQU9lHj6oOled8e_PBOaqZl76ogb2p2Te5XiKToMk_ef8mRleNXr8/s1600/specks+and+planks.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: justify;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUmR8RFpCV3oVCAnt9SbO6ixSPgo0l2V1qjrbTaBBALpQkEyApbNhiWg7nRl-FA3Qzmyh_dd3yt-e0lL1xCjFd38cQU9lHj6oOled8e_PBOaqZl76ogb2p2Te5XiKToMk_ef8mRleNXr8/s1600/specks+and+planks.jpg" height="200" width="177" /></a></div>
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It's refreshing to watch the videos that Diverse Church have uploaded so far, you can see some of them <a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCT9_ZKL-ZbLWLBaMRXqPT4g">here</a>.</div>
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This new video comes with the tagline 'a simple man changed by an almighty God' and it is a creative joy, but also a lesson in planks and specks. So often gay people have to absorb the anxiety and self hatred that others bear towards themselves. They are the scapegoats of our generation. This new video places the source of the anxiety right back where it belongs.</div>
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It is an example of a new way of being part of the landscape in the conversation on sexuality and Christianity. The rest of the conversation has been positional for <i>so</i> long. Arguing for this or that position. There is a place for that. But for a good number of people, this is simply not the point. It's about a Person, not a Position.<br />
<br />
The sheer awful-ness of what the church has done to so many gay people has overwhelmed what is feeling like a rather ridiculous argument over genitalia. It feels like we are having a completely different conversation. There are numbers of paradigms in play and thus entirely congruent for some to gasp 'what planet are you on?' when faced with a convoluted doctrinal argument which zooms past the puddle of a person in front of them.</div>
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What DC reminds us by simply telling the faith story of a real live person, is that if you have a problem with gay Christians, it is your problem, not theirs.</div>
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I think I probably have to say that again. If you have a problem with gay Christians. It is YOUR problem.</div>
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Deal with your own thing.</div>
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Focus on your own story, stop trying to write another's.</div>
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Attend to your plank.</div>
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Well done DC, you've nailed it.</div>
Jody Stowellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15534042687275254272noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6356363460965043698.post-22128190239668947102014-02-22T12:35:00.001+00:002014-02-22T13:00:51.842+00:00#communitypoetry #twitterpoem #Bible<br />
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
What is the Bible?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A book, a text, sacred, holy,<br />
What is it for, is it high or lowly?<br />
Some claim it is simple,<br />
Obey or rebel<br />
The rules are easy<br />
Choose Heaven, or Hell.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrjGIYE0XrgCJCEBXZQc1QBCb-UMYvin6wYzO1wuu7Kw8DCBYzdwZaCqDYekMsK7tpfaRVH5J0HwOm_A_PCjCdAsczwJfQJHXG4GLmf1T2ov1pkZtjzmBD0qfiquzrsBZD7hQ-Z9wxMso/s1600/chilli.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrjGIYE0XrgCJCEBXZQc1QBCb-UMYvin6wYzO1wuu7Kw8DCBYzdwZaCqDYekMsK7tpfaRVH5J0HwOm_A_PCjCdAsczwJfQJHXG4GLmf1T2ov1pkZtjzmBD0qfiquzrsBZD7hQ-Z9wxMso/s1600/chilli.jpg" height="265" width="400" /></a>Others say complex, diverse, hard<br />
to get hold of. Does it soothe or jar?<br />
We speak of depth, taste,<br />
sustenance and meat.<br />
Like hot rich chilli<br />
Makes you whole, complete.</div>
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A story that fills your belly,<br />
Better than any spewed from the telly.<br />
Filled with the dramatic,<br />
Inspiring to truth<br />
Those who live it, their<br />
lives telling its good.</div>
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Wisdom of God spills from inside,<br />
Does it call us, keep us, cause us to hide?<br />
Challenging assumption.<br />
Yet draws us to thrive,<br />
in spite of ourselves.<br />
We are found alive.<br />
<br />
<br />
With thanks to all who contributed from Twitter: <br />
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Jody Stowellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15534042687275254272noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6356363460965043698.post-88321435158728833102014-02-20T12:27:00.000+00:002014-02-20T12:27:19.605+00:00l See Gay People<div style="text-align: justify;">
There have been many comments over the last few days on the <a href="http://www.churchofengland.org/media-centre/news/2014/02/house-of-bishops-pastoral-guidance-on-same-sex-marriage.aspx">House of Bishops guidance with regards to Same-Sex Marriage (SSM)</a></div>
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Thinking Anglicans have been doing the usual round-up and are always good for a wide range of responses:</div>
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<a href="http://www.thinkinganglicans.org.uk/archives/006451.html#comments">Reports and reactions to House of Bishops Statement</a></div>
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<a href="http://www.thinkinganglicans.org.uk/archives/006452.html">More reactions to House of Bishops</a></div>
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<a href="http://www.thinkinganglicans.org.uk/archives/006458.html">Reactions to House of Bishops Statement - episode 3</a></div>
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and then Linda Woodhead's painful wit</div>
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<a href="http://www.thinkinganglicans.org.uk/archives/006460.html">An error in the House of Bishops Guidance on Same Sex Marriage</a></div>
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I was particularly touched by Rachel Mann's contribution</div>
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<a href="http://www.therachelmannblogspot.blogspot.co.uk/">Personal Response to the House of Bishops Pastoral Statement</a></div>
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And I was reminded again of the stories found in the journey of Benny Hazlehurst and Accepting Evangelicals</div>
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<a href="http://www.acceptingevangelicals.org/stories/"><br /></a></div>
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<a href="http://www.acceptingevangelicals.org/stories/">Accepting Evangelicals - Stories</a></div>
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___________________</div>
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I'm not sure why the HoB wrote this particular statement at this particular time with this particular flavour. It did seem a little odd and reactionary. But on the other hand this is the moment I suppose.</div>
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I have to say I remain bemused by the Church of England as a whole on this. The guidance says that gay </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxelqcyXRWByNoLg27Sv7pyojo0-3hbPVEkis_XoxTB2xFKrlZOnLzv0Cjm8BwIFs3kX2tVvuSu2YMj4MYTa1nnzHOgtq43xPXAD97F2snd0L-IC4IdU4tZqUdlI6vKVvegUIDq3zUHbY/s1600/hidden_in_plain_sight.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxelqcyXRWByNoLg27Sv7pyojo0-3hbPVEkis_XoxTB2xFKrlZOnLzv0Cjm8BwIFs3kX2tVvuSu2YMj4MYTa1nnzHOgtq43xPXAD97F2snd0L-IC4IdU4tZqUdlI6vKVvegUIDq3zUHbY/s1600/hidden_in_plain_sight.jpg" /></a></div>
clergy are not allowed to marry, or have a committed, faithful, sexual relationship.<br />
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But I see them...with my very eyes!</div>
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I know many clergy who are gay, I know some who are in CPs, at least one with a child (there will be many more than I know). I've only just realised that they are expected to live in a kind of purgatory in which for their life to be named publicly, or become open, rather than just an open secret, would be to cross a line which is known but never drawn.</div>
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And yet they exist - there will be no way in which their congregation is unaware, they are a couple, or a family. There they are. What will you do with them?</div>
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If I were expected to hide my family, my best beloveds, keep them a dirty secret, in order to obey my calling to God, what would that do to my psyche, my mental health and overall physical wellbeing? </div>
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<a href="http://www.acceptingevangelicals.org/2014/02/coming-out-at-general-synod/">Simon Butler who announced his sexuality and his openness to being in a relationship, in General Synod </a>last week, has done something unbelievably brave in saying all this out loud. It will be recorded in minutes, it cannot be unsaid, denied. Perhaps there was a sense of relief, a level of integration which has been impossible up to now, but the cost of this into the future must not be underestimated. Where we seem to have been intent on wandering around with our eyes and ears shut, and have thought that we're doing people a favour, what we've been doing has been unutterably cruel and abusive. To ask people to live invulnerable lives, closed, guarded, defended, hidden lives. This will inevitably lead to unhealth in all manner of spheres of living. And then we can point and say 'see, we were right all along'. To be one who refuses the parameters leading to this end, is courageous.</div>
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But it is astonishing is it not, that those of us who follow Christ have gotten ourselves into a situation where shadows and 'lies by omission' are the acceptable, even compelled, option. Where truth, honesty and integrity seem to be thought politically naive and optimistic to the extreme. How did we get this so upside down?</div>
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Surely, we need to find a way to enable gay clergy to come out openly and safely, without it being a dreadful ordeal.</div>
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We have gay clergy, single, in couples and families, ministering with us and to us throughout the Church of England this very day.</div>
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I see you.</div>
Jody Stowellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15534042687275254272noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6356363460965043698.post-70518702634641932392014-02-03T20:24:00.000+00:002014-02-03T20:49:16.028+00:00Why I Will Never be a Ninja Vicar<div style="text-align: justify;">
I have had two acute bouts of Anxiety in my life. Bouts that required medication which re-established a 'normal' baseline, from which I could then live my life. I tell you this because Anxiety is less understood as a mental health issue, than Depression. Anxiety by itself is a 'thing'. During my experiences I never felt depressed. But I did feel plenty of other things: frustrated (deeply), scared (a lot), hypochondriac-al (constantly).</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIzphyphenhyphen2AIRTJogRGlZ38noiffEtT0OUNz6uxIVuFgT3eMcDjF_0LHn7dIEmuEYlPeGfuc6cHSYVWEiN0rX_qdGrXl5QPaBNyMnPynxlXkT82WaOrEGmsUj2hNqgMJi22hqmWva4JUF-o4/s1600/ninja+vicar.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIzphyphenhyphen2AIRTJogRGlZ38noiffEtT0OUNz6uxIVuFgT3eMcDjF_0LHn7dIEmuEYlPeGfuc6cHSYVWEiN0rX_qdGrXl5QPaBNyMnPynxlXkT82WaOrEGmsUj2hNqgMJi22hqmWva4JUF-o4/s1600/ninja+vicar.jpg" height="200" width="200" /></a>Often it was difficult for me to get out of bed in the morning. Sometimes I could be feeling fine, doing normal run-of-the-mill daily things, and then I would suddenly be in the middle of a paralysing panic attack. Every day had potential, but I just seemed to wake up in 'fight or flight' mode.<br />
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These acute periods lasted about a year each time. and I haven't had one of those for almost 10 years now. Although I still have times where I get out of kilter with myself - I recognise the signs better. The worst is when I feel I'm hurtling towards a black hole and have very little purchase on the world around me to prevent the descent. Prolonged stressful living is likely to trigger a period of Anxiety, and if I ignore the warning signs, that's where I'm headed.<br />
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It would be very easy for me to 'spiritualise' this experience, in fact on one level it is the right thing, the good thing to do. I spent a good portion of the five minutes before getting up in the morning (not really an option because during one of these acute bouts I had a 1 yr old and a 3 yr old), mantra-ing to myself 'This is the day that the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it'. An instruction, a discipline to myself, to choose the good, to choose to believe something contrary to my immediate experience. I'm sure that for others having their own brand of mental health experience, this wouldn't necessarily have been a choice that was able to be made, but for me it was.<br />
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I also believe that the raw vulnerability which comes with some of these experiences, opens us to God in ways which can only become available to us when we have no defence left.<br />
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Having these experiences has in a very real way, been profoundly Christian. This is truth. <br />
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But there is another truth too. That it hurts. That every time I feel anxious or panicky... I wish I was stronger. Still, after over 15 years. There are bits of me that would exchange dependence on God, knowing God better, wholehearted acceptance of my utter reliance on the Creator of the Cosmos, for being invulnerable, strong, safe, defended.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVga90bOXc_3FBIfDrRb8e_nyNXgPIjZpyWLW4_H_3iPfYLdfxoGFRY2Qvdc9v744h9U7QzfKDNkxzUhyphenhyphenLNjAStjnmSsriONnRHMa_rCicudxxBywihvrRLw9nbxIYfizQtEvGjaLBFSQ/s1600/athena+man+with+baby.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVga90bOXc_3FBIfDrRb8e_nyNXgPIjZpyWLW4_H_3iPfYLdfxoGFRY2Qvdc9v744h9U7QzfKDNkxzUhyphenhyphenLNjAStjnmSsriONnRHMa_rCicudxxBywihvrRLw9nbxIYfizQtEvGjaLBFSQ/s1600/athena+man+with+baby.jpg" height="400" width="333" /></a><br />
In particular it is difficult to be involved in Christian leadership and be cracked.<br />
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I notice that we talk about it all the time - the need to be vulnerable (even without the mental health issues which compel it). But my observation is that we are pretty inept at it, or honouring it. We want alpha males, we want omnicompetence.<br />
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We want clergy special ops. Hi-yah!<br />
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Any vulnerability is the kind which is to be epitomised by those 80s posters of muscle men holding babies. The kind that will pull himself together soon. In that sense occasionally we can give the impression that vulnerability is okay.<br />
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But I'm not convinced. <br />
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And for the female of the species it's often a complete no-no. Our vulnerability is distasteful, the kind that means there are some who point and declare we are unfit to lead.<br />
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And yet.<br />
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I know that my experiences of being vulnerable, vulnerable in the realms of mental health, vulnerable in the realms of a male dominated vocation, vulnerable in the realms of needy creature-hood, are more true than the experiences of the tough cookie I sometimes pretend to be.<br />
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My vulnerability is the truth about me.<br />
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And this is why, I will never be a Ninja Vicar.</div>
Jody Stowellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15534042687275254272noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6356363460965043698.post-82446946788578073052014-02-01T14:16:00.002+00:002014-02-01T14:17:03.746+00:00The Garden of Eden vs The New Jerusalem<div style="text-align: justify;">
I am always interested in how our own personal experiences and journeys through life and faith, impact our theologies and doctrines. When I did my undergrad in Theology, this was an inherent part of the learning that I gained. It seems to me that this was one of the most significant things that I learnt over that time, and I remain suspicious of those who speak of 'arguments from experience' with disdain or smuggery, as if they have won the argument (whichever argument they are fighting) by simply raising the fact that someone's life and interactions with God's cosmos has had an impact on what they think about that cosmos.</div>
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Such important doctrines as our theories of atonement are rooted in the ground of the time from which they came, and the people who lived particular lives, in a particular time. The Exemplar theory, a witness of great love from the Abelard who was castrated for his, Penal Substitution theory from Calvin the lawyer, Satisfaction theory from Anselm's understanding of the feudal system. Simplistic of course, but nevertheless, it is not a coincidence that these theories are rooted in lives lived, and the impact of those lived lives on the way Scripture is read and interpreted.</div>
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It strikes me that some of our conversations on sexuality and the proper place for acts/expressions of sexual love might benefit from some honest self-examination of our own lives lived.</div>
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In scripture and theology there are often concepts which find themselves in seeming tension with each other - justice/mercy, election/freewill, heaven/earth, body/spirit etc etc. As human beings are wont to do, we find it difficult to find a way to hold these things together, to live in the both/and, rather than the either/or. I sometimes wonder if we are incorrect in trying to keep these concepts in tension, rather than finding ways to integrate them in our minds and lives. That justice is found within the mercy of God for example.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwtimE8ABpTHYeMxgtYStsXWELpBsx3pr9rMPkGD7WSR_MdZMSCkLwC2yIHqZaAVrS7wRQSlJawvQJuS-Uf8z0SAxc6MwWCT5__1YqWoZf6Z6EsiJi2xEY8bEmGWqepGeNttrWFxsk_bo/s1600/garden.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwtimE8ABpTHYeMxgtYStsXWELpBsx3pr9rMPkGD7WSR_MdZMSCkLwC2yIHqZaAVrS7wRQSlJawvQJuS-Uf8z0SAxc6MwWCT5__1YqWoZf6Z6EsiJi2xEY8bEmGWqepGeNttrWFxsk_bo/s1600/garden.jpg" height="221" width="320" /></a></div>
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One of these is the 'concepts in tension' is the pairing of The Garden of Eden and The New Jerusalem. The perfect paradise which we left through disobedience versus the city of God to come.</div>
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I have often wondered whether, where you rest at the moment, with regards your position on sexuality, will be reflected in where your heart finds itself with regards to The Garden of Eden or the New Jerusalem. We know, in theory, that we have left Eden and our trajectory is towards the New Jerusalem, but, particularly in Western theology, we found a way for The New Jerusalem to be the Garden of Eden. Are we going forwards, or going backwards?</div>
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In the West, we have tended to understand the story of salvation as something like this:</div>
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<i>The world was made perfect, humans transgressed, Jesus came to redeem, perfection recovered.</i></div>
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Another story, that found through the Eastern Christian tradition, particularly found in Irenaeus, reminds us that the world was not made 'perfect', but that it was made 'good':</div>
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<i>Good (waiting for perfection in Christ), humans transgressed, Jesus, restoration of goodness, perfection.</i></div>
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Are we going forwards in order to recover an old way of being, or going forward to discover a new thing?</div>
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I have lived for a number of years with an eschatology which looks more like the second of these stories. And so it is not hard to understand that when it comes to ways of being human community, ways of family, I find myself left cold by arguments that equate themselves, for all their posh language, to the old 'God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve' line of thought.</div>
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I do not desire to go back to Eden, but on to the New Jerusalem. And in the New Jerusalem, there are possibilities, there are stories of family and love and intimacy, which are yet to be told. I do not know yet what these possibilities are, but I know that they do not necessarily have to conform to the Old Creation.</div>
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Depending on where your own proclivities are weighted - do you desire Eden or Jerusalem? The Garden or the City? The Old Life or the Unknown Life? - I suspect will have an effect on how easy or hard you might find it to engage in genuine conversation about sexuality. Conversation which may lead to as yet unknown forms of human living, rather than re-establishing the known.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9_JAntZ7UKYJPlF03mWr33Js_kFgyPwWu-vzPy_FrtO2fHGKHmEI72P_AViRffd0QtV1-OEGyQdP1xZv7ha3DJA6Rlt4USz0M-DcVTvUEk_AhRLznlKb8Cnw_qGMQvpXEB6hENLciHzg/s1600/london.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9_JAntZ7UKYJPlF03mWr33Js_kFgyPwWu-vzPy_FrtO2fHGKHmEI72P_AViRffd0QtV1-OEGyQdP1xZv7ha3DJA6Rlt4USz0M-DcVTvUEk_AhRLznlKb8Cnw_qGMQvpXEB6hENLciHzg/s1600/london.jpg" height="239" width="320" /></a>It is interesting for me to question myself, in light of this reflection - what about my life lived has meant that the New Jerusalem is where my own heart is drawn? I suspect a childhood begun in a council flat in Aberdeen, with parents who were steeped in a work ethic, has had an influence I can't measure. It was never that where we <i>were</i> was awful, I never felt a desire to escape. However, I did grow up knowing that life was a bit of an adventure, that you could forge a path that was unknown to you or your kin before you. I learnt that money and housing and clothes and cars were passing nothings, and that love and work and justice would remain. I learnt that the things of value come with you into the unknown. I also learnt that moving forward was good. That staying where you were was to turn down the possibilities of flourishing that were open before you. To take the opportunities offered to you, walk through the door. Be brave. I have moved house 13 times in my life. New places, new people, new ways, cultures, thoughts. All these interest me, intrigue me, cause me to think, to explore, to live life beyond the life I have thus far lived. And I have also learnt that respectability is not the same as goodness. I also prefer cities to gardens.</div>
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The honest truth is that any comments or theologies, or interpretation I may come to offer, on any subject, will always have been formed by these learnings.</div>
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My life lived.</div>
Jody Stowellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15534042687275254272noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6356363460965043698.post-91306115512794519212014-01-16T10:26:00.000+00:002014-01-16T10:26:32.721+00:00Grace and Truth<div style="text-align: justify;">
One of the biggest dilemmas that I experience in ministry is when to face people with themselves. Sometimes you will have someone in front of you who is engaged in strategies to explain why they are in such a mess for one reason or another, why they have again spent their money on alcohol, or why they didn't turn up to the crucial meeting with regards to their housing situation etc etc etc.</div>
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And yet in the midst of knowing that, you also know yourself, you know that perhaps *today* your patience is thin because your own life is taking energy in areas that demand your time, that your children are struggling, or you feel ill, or someone has said something nasty about you on Twitter (irony people)</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqIWmKtO5N6od5RrFmW-19B3BCHO9ZB16mHjBGmgU4nq9ugaFKy1OlB2rRJGEksB_1b92YQOQ8gLPv-M6hDEX2dyFmnQ2C9-EPAFxKbg2EzMdBkCfyCB6bNs8c58sZdixZKL7-w1Ex_Iw/s1600/HoldingUpTheMirror.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqIWmKtO5N6od5RrFmW-19B3BCHO9ZB16mHjBGmgU4nq9ugaFKy1OlB2rRJGEksB_1b92YQOQ8gLPv-M6hDEX2dyFmnQ2C9-EPAFxKbg2EzMdBkCfyCB6bNs8c58sZdixZKL7-w1Ex_Iw/s1600/HoldingUpTheMirror.jpg" /></a>This is the concept of <i>praxis</i>, knowing yourself within the practice of particular situations - and so practice may change, depending on the 'self' you bring that day, week, month.</div>
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And it can be difficult to negotiate - I often find myself questioning whether I am responding out of my lack of breakfast that day, or the true need of the person in front of me. The reality of course is that I can only bring myself, breakfasted or not, *me* is who they get.</div>
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My predilection is towards <i>tough love</i>, or articulating the reality. I am well aware that sometimes people feel I am too blunt, or I should couch what I am saying to soften the blow - but sometimes people need to hear that if they carry on down a particular road, they will find themselves rough sleeping/friendless/without choices. Sometimes it is important to say that addressing their addiction is imperative to their wellbeing and future.</div>
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Yet, on some days, I find myself feeling a complete bitch. Suffering is not easy to ignore, even if it is to some extent self-induced. So I intentionally make myself think of language that is not so blunt. I ask more questions, I articulate that my hope is for their best. I take more time than I might otherwise. Sometimes I fluff it and wonder if I have colluded with them in their destructive choices.</div>
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This will always be the wire I walk. Grace and Truth are inextricably bonded, but often we can feel like they are pulling each other apart.</div>
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No more pertinent is this issue, than in the case of homelessness. In the work we do as Street Pastors, we are often engaging with this and are constantly having to deal with the reality of government policy vs personal responsibility - the fault lines are not clear and easy to navigate. The reasons and solutions are many and complex, as much so as the human beings themselves that they seek to explain and help.</div>
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Below is a short review by my husband, Quinton Stowell (twitter <a href="https://twitter.com/qstowell">@qstowell</a>) of a Grove Book which begins to talk through this reality. The book is written by Jon Kuhrt and Chris Ward and tackles some of the issues and difficulties of Christian ministry in this area.</div>
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<b>Homelessness – Grace,
Truth and Transformation</b></div>
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by Jon Kuhrt and Chris Ward. </div>
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Grove Books P135 ISBN 9781851748778 £3.95. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>Review by Quinton Stowell, Coordinator, Harrow Street Pastors</b></div>
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Can I recommend this little booklet to you? It’s a brief but
very insightful book that tackles the issues of homelessness and is particularly
useful for those who come into contact with homeless people through their
involvement with their church activities. It’s only got 28 pages, but is packed
full of useful information. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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The main author is Jon Kuhrt, who has been involved with homeless
people for over 20 years. As both a Christian and a full time worker in the
‘voluntary sector’ he sees the situation from both sides of the fence and gives
clear guidance on how this partnership can work effectively. Complementing
Jon’s overview, Chris Ward shares his testimony of how he battled with
homelessness and how his life has been transformed. <o:p></o:p></div>
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From my perspective of being a Street Pastor and coming
across homeless people in need of help on a regular basis I had a fair idea of
the basic “dos and don’ts”, but Jon’s wealth of experience goes much further. I
particularly like the chapter which deals with the need to balance Grace with
Truth.</div>
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Churches/Christians are often good at showing unconditional,
unquestioning care for those in need which is a powerful side of our
understanding of Grace. In contrast homeless agencies and local authorities
will focus on encouraging homeless people to face reality and take greater
responsibility for their situation – to tell them the Truth. We must strive to
improve our communication with our partner agencies and learn to balance the
need for grace with truth so we can see more lives being transformed. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="http://www.grovebooks.co.uk/cart.php?target=product&product_id=17648&category_id=265">http://www.grovebooks.co.uk/cart.php?target=product&product_id=17648&category_id=265</a><o:p></o:p></div>
Jody Stowellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15534042687275254272noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6356363460965043698.post-90476806861298154622013-12-06T13:27:00.000+00:002013-12-07T18:33:33.081+00:00Watching and Waiting: Women Bishops, New Job, Pilling, Fulcrum (The Universe and Everything.....?)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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It's been a little while since I last posted. Partly this has been because I've been insanely busy, and now we are at Advent, that is not any less the case, but I have a day off and I also want to update you on my thoughts and news, should you wish to read them.</div>
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There have been a couple of important things that have come up for me over the last three months.</div>
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<b>Women Bishops legislation</b> - This has been approved for consultation - woohoo - slightly muted optimism as I want to believe that no-one will sabotage the final vote when it comes, but if I'm honest my trust is low on that one, so we shall see. This is not pessimism, or cynicism, just reality based on the last vote, and the vast majority of encounters I've had with Conservative Evangelicals that have made me sense that they would stop it if they could. And why would they not - they believe it is an anti-gospel move. It appears that the Trad Caths are on board and will abstain if not vote in favour. This seems to be a legislation that they can work with. So I watch with interest. There should be a post soon on the <a href="http://www.yes2womenbishops.org/">Y2WB</a> website unpacking what has been approved, and what the next steps are. It all gets a bit complicated, and a lot of people are surprised that we could be talking about a final vote in 2014, whereas last year we were saying not until 2015. This is mainly because the review stage has been agreed to rest with Synod rather than a review committee, and that speeds up the process. But do take a look at the Y2WB site for updates on that.</div>
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<b>Personal news</b> - I'm in the third year of my curacy, and in London Diocese these are a maximum of three years long, so I've had my antennae up for any possible jobs that might be where God is calling me next. I have been keen to stay in London and in the Willesden Area, where I am now. I have absolutely adored being in London, the best city in the world, and I've enjoyed working with Bishop Pete Broadbent, who is a straight talker and intentional about including women, so works for me! :) And so it was fantastic news, after prayer and exploration, to be offered the job of Vicar at St Michael and All Angel's in Harrow Weald. I will begin there after Easter 2014, and I can't wait! As well as the church being the right place, as a family we feel very invested in Harrow, as that is where I've been for my curacy too, and have a sense that this is where God wants us. My husband will continue to co-ordinate Harrow Street Pastors and be involved in the community and council work with the homeless that has taken up a good chunk of his time whilst we've been here.</div>
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<b>Pilling</b> - And so Pilling has erupted onto our consciousness. I very much liked <a href="http://www.twitlonger.com/show/n_1rstuva">Mouse's response</a> to responses on the report :). Mouse is a wisely creature indeed. Having said that, I would like to tell you about some of my emotional response to the report. My initial response on reading that we should look at ways of 'marking/blessing' same-sex relationships was that my soul responded 'Yes!' - this is not a logical, thought through response, it was a soul one, and I note it with interest. I also note the discussions going on around the wording 'mark' or 'bless', but am not sure that's the point - if we 'mark' something in church, I rather doubt it is for the purpose of saying 'look - this is here', it is rather to mark it positively, to somehow celebrate it.</div>
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I've often in my conversations indicated that I desire conversation on the subject of same-sex relationships. Conversations that are open to diversity of opinion on the subject, and certainly that go beyond our positional stances of shouting 'homophobe' or 'heretic' at each other. I personally think that there must be something more positive to say to gay people other than 'go away you shouldn't exist' or 'be celibate' or 'break up', when they come to my parish asking what God has to say to them about their relationship (especially if there are children involved). Importantly for me, I don't think that the Bible is conclusive. I am heartened to see David Runcorn as an evangelical engage with this ambiguity in the report. And the reality is that, whilst I don't think women in ministry/sexuality is exactly the same question, any woman ordained in the Church of England will be VERY careful about taking some verses and using them to exclude/diminish someone else - how many times has that been done to her.... Regardless of whether she is conservative or not on the issue, ordained women I suggest will be rather more wary about certainty on this matter.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgD6YVTaorPO7jrliPrl_t5WdJiWckX0OrYsmT_Hg3rcXm3E91fccCQdMaFgQzoj_VENPdSekiBKK5ELqLDAbm71RlZlEg_l48ME_Zv3MyRckLCYS1bKKnSQEbPQ9IaoSmnLpBXmopmnMY/s1600/defeatstriumphant.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="311" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgD6YVTaorPO7jrliPrl_t5WdJiWckX0OrYsmT_Hg3rcXm3E91fccCQdMaFgQzoj_VENPdSekiBKK5ELqLDAbm71RlZlEg_l48ME_Zv3MyRckLCYS1bKKnSQEbPQ9IaoSmnLpBXmopmnMY/s320/defeatstriumphant.jpg" width="320" /></a>When I read God's story with people throughout scripture there are narratives of welcome, hospitality, boundary-crossing, love, soft-hearts, journeying, New Jerusalem, eschatology, complex family relationships, mistakes, legalism, permission to bind/loose, which I think need to be explored - in relation to this subject, but also how we do life with God in general.</div>
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So in response to Pilling, I welcome the conversation. I will watch with interest the facilitated discussions. In my own ethic I am committed to a Person, Jesus - this means that I am open to an ongoing journey with a rather undefined destination, other than to keep that Person close by. And for those who wonder how 'evangelical' this is - I am passionately committed to scripture, but the true definition of an evangelical is, I believe, found in the concept of the 'Personal Relationship with Jesus'. And in that I am unremittingly In Love.</div>
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<b>Fulcrum</b> - In light of the above on Pilling, and in long conversation with my friends and colleagues at Fulcrum, it has been with some sadness that I have made the decision to leave the team. Fulcrum has been incredibly important to me over the last 8 years, and I have been on the team for 6 of those years. It is fair to say that we have had much laughter, and a few tears together in that time. I have great affection for the team and our work together. The subject of sexuality has been one which we have gnawed on over the last little while and whilst there is some room for discussion, Fulcrum, as has always been the case, will be approaching Pilling from the <a href="http://www.fulcrum-anglican.org.uk/articles/fulcrum-response-to-the-pilling-report-2/">position set out in their statement</a> . I found that I needed a little more room for manoeuvre in the upcoming conversations that will be happening. I also, as you know, like to be able to think aloud on my blog, and wanted to have the freedom to do that without undermining what Fulcrum as a group want to be able to say and do.</div>
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It is somehow fitting that in Advent we are being called to a time of watching and waiting.</div>
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May you be blessed as you do so.</div>
Jody Stowellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15534042687275254272noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6356363460965043698.post-51178428708212022802013-09-26T22:11:00.002+01:002013-09-26T22:11:17.554+01:00It's Not Me, It's You<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i>Again he entered the synagogue, and a man was there who had a withered
hand. <sup>2</sup>They watched him to see whether he would cure him on the
sabbath, so that they might accuse him. <sup>3</sup>And he said to the man
who had the withered hand, ‘Come forward.’ <sup>4</sup>Then he said to
them, ‘Is it lawful to do good or to do harm on the sabbath, to save life or to
kill?’ But they were silent. <sup>5</sup>He looked around at them with
anger; he was grieved at their hardness of heart and said to the man, ‘Stretch
out your hand.’ He stretched it out, and his hand was restored. <sup>6</sup>The
Pharisees went out and immediately conspired with the Herodians against him,
how to destroy him.</i></blockquote>
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<i><br /></i></div>
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<i> </i>I recently found myself
engaging with the above text in relation to my experience of Evangelicalism as
a tribe, with tribal influence. When it
comes to assumptions made about the experiences, hopes, insights, dreams and
beliefs of those of us who self-define as evangelical, I have found this to be
a significant problem.<o:p></o:p></div>
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There are particular markers that
are assumed non-negotiables of the tribe. That which is considered the culture,
‘the way we do things here’, or ‘what we think’. The challenging of these markers is deemed to
be beyond the pale and creates high risk of ensuring our ejection from this
tribe.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Well, I never really got on with
the idea that I would sacrifice thinking, questioning, challenging,
truth-telling and wrestling with God, in order to be part of a club.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Actually, that’s a teensy weensy
lie.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I’m a conformist at heart.
Honest.</div>
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<br /></div>
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I was a good girl at school (except
when I petitioned the headteacher because they stopped someone taking their
exams and I thought it was just to do with league tables), I was excellent when
I was a police cadet (although I had to report a police officer for misconduct),
I was great at church (until, they started preaching that God hated some)<o:p></o:p></div>
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The thing is – I <i>want</i> to conform. I really do, it honestly causes me a stupid
amount of stress sometimes to do what a number of people seem to assume comes
naturally to me. Stick my head above the parapet. Point out that the emperor doesn’t seem to be
wearing any clothes. Rock the boat.<o:p></o:p></div>
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But all through my life, that is
what I have seemed incapable of <i>not</i>
doing.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Why…why…I ask myself, am I HERE….<i>again</i>.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Why cannot someone else be
sticking their head in this particular guillotine shaped hole?<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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I will be perfectly content to cheerlead
from the sidelines. I love pompoms.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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And in actual fact, I like the
club! I don’t want to leave it. It’s my home and it’s where I have been
formed and being chucked out is not to be worn with a shrug of the shoulders
and an ‘ah well, I’ll find a new place – here this bus shelter will do…..’<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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But I don’t half get frustrated
with my evangelical siblings. The strict
control of what makes for acceptable discussion, surely makes for a kind of
pseudo-community. Where people
tentatively, flicking their eyes at one another, suggest possible questions,
but are quickly given the sign that some things are just not up for grabs. This doesn’t of course mean that those things
are not thought about. It just means
that there are a lot of people thinking things on their own in their head and
choosing belonging instead. I cannot
think that this is a healthy state of affairs.
But it is understandable – belonging is a serious part of human functioning. It is not just a nice fluffy feeling that we
get with our friends. It is how our
identity is made up – because it is a measure of which relationships form
us. Belonging is high on the agenda of
human need and flourishing.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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So I do find myself torn
sometimes. I have a strong ‘cause’
streak that runs through me. I am
incapable it seems of choosing to avoid the conflict, if it seems to be that an
issue of justice is at stake. Or simply
that ‘It’s Not Fair.’ I believe this is
shown up by various ‘Personality’ type tools that I have done. But I could have
told you it without them. I could never
cheat at board games as a child.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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However, it does often cause me angst
to stand where I stand. And deep
frustration. How can we ever hope to
have genuine relationship and understanding of what we think, when it’s at the
risk of being sent out to the wilderness?<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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But the temptation of belonging does
pull on me, and sometimes I find myself silent.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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And this is where the Jesus
encounter above sits in my heart.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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If I am ever tempted by belonging
over justice, over compassion, over love, then this is the text that jumps into
my brain.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i>‘he was grieved at their hardness of heart’</i></blockquote>
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<i><br /></i></div>
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Sometimes I find myself fearful
of not having any tribal home in the CofE – I’m an evangelical, but often that
seems under threat. But I can tell you
that the fear of having Jesus look at me and be grieved at my hard heart is
whole magnitudes larger than that.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I am more than unwilling to <i>ever</i> stand before Jesus and have him
look at me and be angry that I chose to harden my heart rather than risk being
wrong for the sake of love. When I say
‘more than unwilling’, I mean, I would rather risk <i>everything</i> and have a fleshy vulnerable mistaken heart.<o:p></o:p></div>
Jody Stowellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15534042687275254272noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6356363460965043698.post-85980863654074560982013-09-22T15:11:00.000+01:002013-09-22T15:11:25.153+01:00Fertile Land<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiE9ehbeX_Kcgrm191QN9blMDKGaD2UrlyApnM9SQvjmhKIcMJgyLGRvNTWkAvPf8K6BePb1A2qFP8SX-wIQtb9nTWg8p2dGUzYldX_M15DDGrxeAms20Hoa33yUz5XXWa4nRZM2UlJQu0/s1600/darkthoughts.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiE9ehbeX_Kcgrm191QN9blMDKGaD2UrlyApnM9SQvjmhKIcMJgyLGRvNTWkAvPf8K6BePb1A2qFP8SX-wIQtb9nTWg8p2dGUzYldX_M15DDGrxeAms20Hoa33yUz5XXWa4nRZM2UlJQu0/s200/darkthoughts.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
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In the argued nights of thoughts</div>
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New worlds are born</div>
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Twisted, turmoiled</div>
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Bloody, hot</div>
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Not in the cool corridors</div>
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The sterile labs</div>
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Disinfectant reeks</div>
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Clean, calm</div>
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No, not in those places</div>
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sanitised life</div>
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Birthed by death</div>
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Pure, untainted</div>
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But in the dirty mud of first creation</div>
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Vigorous naivete</div>
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Takes its place</div>
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Bold, brave</div>
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Jody Stowellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15534042687275254272noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6356363460965043698.post-86179434890779967162013-08-13T16:10:00.002+01:002013-08-15T15:38:39.795+01:00Dizzy Heights and Too Much Noise<div style="text-align: justify;">
[Ed note: Bearing in mind the piranhic frenzy regarding a car bumper sticker this week, I was so tempted to call this post 'What the Fuck Would Jesus Do?', but I went with the above instead.]</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4Qol4adzmCjZsZ2n5WnNE-zhQo_f1Xzrcm6fcalQuCYd1ZTBO6UQXGriyStOuYZHBQsFjT1GODa9ZkZxQ-yXks-EB_B1dasLh-JRjAHteajISw7BVellukENrJhYI0yIC8JxxvY4g8Xk/s1600/men+women+sign.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="398" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4Qol4adzmCjZsZ2n5WnNE-zhQo_f1Xzrcm6fcalQuCYd1ZTBO6UQXGriyStOuYZHBQsFjT1GODa9ZkZxQ-yXks-EB_B1dasLh-JRjAHteajISw7BVellukENrJhYI0yIC8JxxvY4g8Xk/s400/men+women+sign.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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A week or so ago I wrote <a href="http://jodystowell.blogspot.co.uk/2013/08/why-are-christian-men-not-all-raving.html">'Why are Christian Men Not All Raving Feminists?'</a>, regarding my observation that there had been a lack of their presence on Twitter regarding the abuse received by Caroline Criado Perez.</div>
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This began an interesting conversation with Steve Holmes in the comments section of that post and then he blogged further on his reflections <a href="http://steverholmes.org.uk/blog/?p=7031">here</a>.</div>
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I too have been further musing on our conversation and, mirroring his honesty, want to take you through some of the thoughts and feelings around this issue and blogging about this issue.</div>
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It took a bit of courage to blog that piece you see.</div>
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I absolutely do not *ever* wish to write a post of the 'poor me' variety, but I do want to say that sometimes it takes rather a lot of courage to write, blog, tweet in a way that is consistently exposing the sexism that is part of the air that we breathe (and most people do inhale...) - see, it's not 'poor me', it's actually 'well done me'. But the risk is that you may not feel that you can engage with me if I say it too much, because you're nice, and don't want to be mean to the poor feminist.</div>
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However, I did want to point it out, because it's part of the dialogue.</div>
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Let me start a bit further back....</div>
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When I was at college training for ordination here are some of the things that I observed or experienced:</div>
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- I raised my hand to ask a question in a lecture and the male student next to me leaned over, dug his hand into my shoulder and said 'just getting rid of that chip'.</div>
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- One of the female students asked for more sanitary towel bins on toilets of the block where she was living and was told they weren't in budget.</div>
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- Another female student discussed some sexist comments she'd experienced, with a member of staff and was told to accept it as 'banter'.</div>
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- I was carrying two teapots to the common room and a male student going past me quipped 'nice jugs' (it's a euphemism for boobies - tee hee...why aren't you laughing...you must have had a SOH failure surely?).</div>
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- In our student common room meeting to elect new committee members, the only woman to be elected was welcomed as the 'sex-retary' ('Cos she was the new Secretary of the committee and 'Sec' is a bit like 'Sex' and we all know what secretaries like doing don't we... - gettit? *sigh*)</div>
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[Ed note: I have since been contacted by someone who would like me to clarify the following about the above statement: 'A public nomination paper for Secretary of the Student Common Room was
graffiti'd to read 'sexretary' - the nominee was a woman'.]<br />
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I could go on, but you might think I'm overegging the point.</div>
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Of course I have had many more experiences before and since, which make me want to cross my eyes or poke someone else's out..or something. But the point is that *this* is my baseline people. Do you get it?</div>
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In some ways it means I'm very easily pleased - you get above the baseline merely by not being someone who's going to comment on my tits.</div>
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So when Steve asks 'Why do you call me good?' - and I really do get his point, it stands alone, as well as part of our conversation - but can I explain that my expectations have been set staggeringly low? It's understandable I think that Steve (and not just Steve, please be assured I've got some fantastic male friends), goes so far above the baseline that we all get a bit dizzy. I'm just so ecstatic when someone - particularly a colleague, ordained as leader/priest - goes beyond the 'get over it' or 'let's just get on with the important stuff/Gospel' and actually appears to understand issues such as privilege and the assault that sexism and misogyny commits on the Gospel.</div>
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So I wonder if perhaps he and others of that ilk could bear the understandably heavy load of 'good' just for a little bit?</div>
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I know it feels heavy. I'm sorry for that.</div>
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And that's where I think Steve really did 'get it' from his blogpost - that the 'getting it', is about understanding the impact it has when Christian men, stand up - all by themselves - and say 'not good enough' or 'keep going'.</div>
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You know, when Steve commented on my initial blogpost, I wanted to say 'nooooooo, I didn't mean youuuuuu'. It was one of my worries about writing a piece like that - that the people who need to hear it least, hear it most. Or that it will just descend into my being interpreted as a bitter harridan even by those men who are 'supporters' of women. ('Sigh...She's started on us now...')</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXPTaS1YXUNfJwGcA82YhlijGkyhqjLvDhyphenhyphenIXOq63M0f5OhjXh8jyY4dsGKCjhqbhRjqmAU-9FncdFsY2bf3XQwsEg2qfCXT0gP-y7PdrEtLtPXu9hNEg7jPqG4dOl-OK2HpW0MY74aBY/s1600/too-much-noise.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXPTaS1YXUNfJwGcA82YhlijGkyhqjLvDhyphenhyphenIXOq63M0f5OhjXh8jyY4dsGKCjhqbhRjqmAU-9FncdFsY2bf3XQwsEg2qfCXT0gP-y7PdrEtLtPXu9hNEg7jPqG4dOl-OK2HpW0MY74aBY/s400/too-much-noise.jpg" width="400" /></a>But the reality is that we need you to 'get it', so I'm glad I wrote it, even with that risk attached. We need you to 'get' that the tidal wave of negative criticism we get, not just about being women, but about being women who think about what it means to be women, and talk about it out loud, is incessant.</div>
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That when someone tells me I 'hate men', I wonder if it's true.</div>
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That when someone tells me to 'hush up', I wonder if I should.</div>
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It's just so much noise.</div>
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I am not ashamed to say that it's music to my ears when someone (a man) says 'no it's not true' and 'no you shouldn't'.</div>
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It may even be <i>very </i>good.</div>
Jody Stowellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15534042687275254272noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6356363460965043698.post-8545315553839105012013-08-02T20:36:00.001+01:002013-08-02T20:44:26.541+01:00Why Are Christian Men Not All Raving Feminists?<div style="text-align: justify;">
Okay, so there have been some great comments and blogs on the situation regarding Caroline Criado Perez and Stella Creasy and the horrendous abuse they received because, essentially, they are women who think they should be treated as human beings and have the damned affront to say so...in public.</div>
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Loads of people have picked up the baton to condemn the actions of those who thought it was okay to threaten death and rape, simply because it was on Twitter and not in, you know, 'real life'.</div>
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So, I'm not going to write about that, and tell you what you, I hope, already know. Threatening rape etc = bad = illegal, whether face to face or not.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzmFu89KHXqS-sYRLkHhj56gDCRtQGrsIr2yxr_WgUxzqW9y6FOv3wZPj4rnhOegin7pUNfjHJa7VIT-44LVHfBfbEKmLNxvnLd0gkjzBLt9Sk0eE1g0kve90libp5v1slbtvmVp9DgTY/s1600/hystericalwoman.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzmFu89KHXqS-sYRLkHhj56gDCRtQGrsIr2yxr_WgUxzqW9y6FOv3wZPj4rnhOegin7pUNfjHJa7VIT-44LVHfBfbEKmLNxvnLd0gkjzBLt9Sk0eE1g0kve90libp5v1slbtvmVp9DgTY/s400/hystericalwoman.jpg" width="368" /></a></div>
I joined in with supporting Caroline on Twitter and retweeted stuff to raise awareness of what was going on... and then to encourage her when people started tweeting that she should just calm down a bit and stop retweeting her abuse - people didn't want to keep seeing the reality of what women often have to deal with. The most disturbing part being that the abuse started off with very 'normal' blokes basically telling her that she was over egging the 'point' - that campaigning for women to be on banknotes and generally to be represented, was a bit...you know...embarrassing...that she was showing herself up a bit for taking it all too seriously...after all what does it *really* matter.</div>
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It was surprising, alarming and downright shocking how quickly the comments went from 'Calm down dear' to 'She needs to loosen up' to 'She just needs a good screw' to 'I'm coming to rape you.'</div>
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But, okay, here's something that I began to wonder. And it is a bit uncomfortable to voice it. I began to<br />
wonder where the Christian men were?</div>
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I had a bunch of Christian women, feminist people commenting - my Twitter feed was full of it. But, I had no idea what my brothers in Christ thought about this - relatively speaking, of course there were some, but you take the point.</div>
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And so I wondered if they felt a bit lost in it all? Perhaps they didn't think it was anything to do with them? I wondered if a lot of you felt 'what am I meant to think?'. It's not that you don't think abuse is wrong or anything, but how does this fit in to the whole picture of proclaiming the Christian faith? How does it affect your day to day lives? What should you do about it? How are you meant to interpret this kind of sexism, in the life of Christians together, men and women?<br />
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I'm not entirely sure what the problem is, so I would really like to hear what 'the men' think. But I've got a few ideas what might be feeding into this relative silence.</div>
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<ul>
<li>We've had a year of talking about sexism in the Church, particularly in regard to whether women can lead or not. We've spent a lot of time finding ways of saying that those who don't think women should lead/be bishops *aren't* sexist, and so we're not even sure what it is anymore. I think we've lost the vocabulary. What's sexist? What's not sexist? Is sexism bad? <i>Really bad</i>...or just, like, whether you're a cat person or a dog person? It's okay either way, but as long as you don't kick the other one.</li>
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<li>There is a lingering idea that this is 'an issue for the girls' - that sexism is something against women, rather than a fundamental affront to the doctrine of humanity being made in the Image of God and therefore at the heart of what it means for everyone, men and women to be faithful Christian disciples. Fighting it therefore can feel more about standing alongside Sisters in Christ ('this is awful for you'), rather than a gospel issue ('this is at the heart of God's purposes for humanity'), both good things, but the latter would likely command more significance in our minds and therefore on time and energy.</li>
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<ul><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8PYv46Q_8Z8rfPnE7T7Si1U_-u-Qd2v5kIedgqxMayHSXIDMgqLQ1oj2Pkhu8MbgDLUVFr_gQbqmS_w2_3EoP3-zOO_8lTX6K9oFhasIcrNMCun8JJHoZRcd_lz3gHbswnN_ZOmlBTU8/s1600/male-feminist.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8PYv46Q_8Z8rfPnE7T7Si1U_-u-Qd2v5kIedgqxMayHSXIDMgqLQ1oj2Pkhu8MbgDLUVFr_gQbqmS_w2_3EoP3-zOO_8lTX6K9oFhasIcrNMCun8JJHoZRcd_lz3gHbswnN_ZOmlBTU8/s400/male-feminist.jpg" width="292" /></a>
<li>I also have heard that sometimes when men have tried to get involved in this issue that they have felt unappreciated, or dismissed. I think that this issue is one that it would be good to explore further. It is however, the most difficult to talk about. I think that often men would like to 'help' - and therein we have an issue I guess. Women working for equality have much experience in the field of gender. You may have noticed that there was a backlash when those experiencing abuse on twitter were told (often by men), to ignore the abuse. Women are not likely to react well to this. Working together on this issue is to be absolutely in partnership - and in fact, women working in this field may have some expertise to impart themselves. There is further work to be done on how men become involved, particularly Christian men, who are used to a particular paradigm of relationships (ie. one in which they are reacted to in a particular way because they are male). We need to find ways to help each other to work together in a new paradigm - one of equality and where the privileged status of the 'male' is no longer the norm, or is at least articulated wisely, so that we can work through it. This is why this is quite tricky to raise as an issue - it cuts to the heart of our own prejudices. So men can feel the brunt of not being treated in a 'privileged' way - a way they assumed was 'normal' and they interpret that as being dismissed (welcome to our world guys), and women can feel pissed off that men are expecting the same privileged treatment in a feminist space (ie a space where they assume at least some knowledge of gender dynamics) and get impatient.</li>
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So these are some observations and thoughts. Not comfortable for us to talk about and I am of course concerned that Christian men will think I'm having a go at them. I'm not and I thought raising the issue was worth the risk. Because I want you with me. So let's talk.</div>
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Jody Stowellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15534042687275254272noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6356363460965043698.post-78944278844909526762013-07-19T12:17:00.002+01:002013-07-19T12:17:45.583+01:00Being Me<div style="text-align: center;">
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If I were a quiet mouse</div>
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I'd thank you God for letting me squeak</div>
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If I were a teeny tiny frog</div>
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I'd thank you God for making me leap</div>
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If I were a star up in the sky</div>
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I'd twinkle and sparkle and dance way up high</div>
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But I just thank you God for making me, me</div>
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For you gave me a mouth and you gave me a mind</div>
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You said don't waste your gift and speak as you find</div>
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So I just thank you God for making me, me</div>
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If I were a graceful horse</div>
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I'd thank you God for letting me run</div>
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If I were a dolphin in the sea</div>
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I'd thank you God for all the jumpy fun</div>
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If I were an eagle flying fast</div>
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I'd soar and dive and I'd make the freedom last</div>
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But I just thank you God for making me, me</div>
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For you made me a leader and you made me a girl</div>
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You made me a woman and said go and change the world</div>
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So I thank you God for making me, me</div>
Jody Stowellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15534042687275254272noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6356363460965043698.post-56064180015021792122013-07-09T12:40:00.001+01:002013-07-09T12:40:44.665+01:00On Not Repeating History and Building BridgesAfter this weekend's Synod and the deliberation on what the next legislation on women bishops look like, I've written an article for The Information Daily to try to give a simple explanation of 'what has happened', 'what might happen', 'what I'd like to happen'.<div>
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Read it <a href="http://www.theinformationdaily.com/2013/07/09/women-bishops-building-bridges-to-avoid-repeating-history">here</a>.</div>
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Jody Stowellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15534042687275254272noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6356363460965043698.post-25783037444575046752013-07-01T21:24:00.003+01:002013-07-01T21:26:37.113+01:00A Metaphorical Cup of Tea: Interview with Maggi Dawn<div style="text-align: justify;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYkfUjFy-ZQ29Jvy90XyzqDeOtKdO6yCOGVOqdQkZPh2C9zeTWXlbVHXF6QpVzlvoJpSd4EpNP-z2bYQBTIdx4FIhc_iEAZLRvB8RGyYBiWFbjfeaU8h5k4dR7PABN8-irbfNxzQ80Jh4/s746/maggi+dawn.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYkfUjFy-ZQ29Jvy90XyzqDeOtKdO6yCOGVOqdQkZPh2C9zeTWXlbVHXF6QpVzlvoJpSd4EpNP-z2bYQBTIdx4FIhc_iEAZLRvB8RGyYBiWFbjfeaU8h5k4dR7PABN8-irbfNxzQ80Jh4/s320/maggi+dawn.jpg" width="257" /></a>Some of you will know that I was very privileged to become friends with Maggi whilst I trained for ordination in Cambridge. She was, in fact, someone who had endless energy and insight for me, even when she was making big life decisions for herself. A true priest...and friend.</div>
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Maggi and I left Cambridge at the same time (coincidental I assure you), me for the exotic climes of Harrow and she for the slightly sunnier shores of Yale University, where she is Professor and Priest. So when someone at the <a href="http://womenandthechurch.org/">WATCH </a>committee asked if anyone would contact Maggi to interview her about her new book, <a href="http://www.amazon.co.uk/Like-Wideness-Sea-Bishops-England/dp/0232530017">Like the Wideness of the Sea</a>, I jumped at the chance to get in touch.</div>
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An edited version of the interview is found in OUTLOOK, the annual magazine of <a href="http://womenandthechurch.org/">WATCH</a>, which will be published this week. However, the full interview was so good that I asked if I could publish it in full on my blog here.</div>
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So, I publish it in full below, and I ask you to take a look at the work of <a href="http://womenandthechurch.org/">WATCH</a>, which works for the full equality of women and men in the church, and perhaps join us in this Kingdom work.</div>
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<b style="text-indent: -18pt;"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">1.<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span></b><b style="text-indent: -18pt;"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">You recently published ‘Like the
Wideness of the Sea’, a book on the Church of England’s wrangling over the
place of women as Bishops: why write this now?</span></b></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Quite simply - I was asked to! The Editorial Director </span><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #343434; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">of Darton, Longman & Todd</span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">, whom I’ve known for many years, called
me the day after the November 2012 Synod saying that the feeling of shock and
despair was palpable in England, not only in the Church but in the public
sphere, and he wanted to publish a response within two months. The reason he
asked me was that I knew the situation from inside, but now have some distance
from it, so he was interested to know how it looked to me a year after I moved
to the States. My intent in writing was to try to avoid simply rehearsing the
same arguments again, and to look sideways at the problem, in the hopes of offering
a fresh perspective, and some ideas to find a way out of the deadlock.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">2.<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span></b><!--[endif]--><b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The discussion on women in leadership
is centuries old, are we fighting a losing battle?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The discussion is old, but the context is always new – from one century
to the next, nothing stands still. And
in order to see the gospel lived out in every generation we have to allow
ourselves to see the difference between the gospel itself and the cultural
accretions that are added to it over time, so that we can rediscover God’s
freedom and salvation in every generation. That’s not to say we change the
truth to suit ourselves, but we have to be discerning enough to understand that
the gospel has been interpreted with significant social differences at
different times and places. Most Christians, for instance, no longer regard it acceptable
that the scriptures were used to justify polygamy, or the crusades, or slavery.
It is not only legitimate, but incumbent upon us to ask whether the long
history of the Church in denying women an equal place has actually been a
misinterpretation, rather than faithfulness to scripture and tradition. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">This particular discussion is certainly causing conflict within the church
(and not only in the Church of England), but despite that I’m reluctant to use
“battle” imagery to describe it – because those who are entrenched in their
views that women may not be priests or bishops are, nevertheless, our brothers
and sisters in Christ. I would rather use language of hope and reconciliation. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Recently Alan Boesak visited Yale Divinity School, and talked about his
involvement in combatting racism in South Africa. He preached a brilliant
sermon, based on Genesis 25:8-9: “</span><i><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #020f19; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">Abraham died… an old man, and full of
years; and was gathered to his people. And his sons Isaac and Ishmael buried
him in the cave of Machpelah.</span></i><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #020f19; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">” Boesak pointed out that Ishmael was expelled from the family home half
a lifetime before this event, and had not been heard of since. For all the
inspirational things Abraham had done, this one event was far from a moment of
glory, and had wreaked havoc on many lives. For Ishmael and Isaac to be reunited to bury
their father, Isaac first had to have the grace and humility to find and invite
his brother, and Ishmael had to summon up enough grace and forgiveness to
accept the invitation. If they were ever to recover from that one, dreadful
episode in their lives, and find reconciliation, they had to bury their father <i>together</i>. One side cannot resolve a
conflict alone, and one side “winning” doesn’t lead to reconciliation. The past
has to be buried by both sides being prepared to face their own demons, and to
work together towards reconciliation for the sake of a better future. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #020f19; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">It’s a story that Alan Boesak retells out of his experience in South
Africa’s journey out of apartheid, but as I listened to him I saw resonances for
other kinds of human division, including that of the Church of England’s
current conflict. If two sides of an argument are entrenched in their views,
then resolution can only come if both sides are more intent on finding a way to
live together than on insisting on their side “winning”. It’s vital that those
on either side of the argument are honest about what will or will not
constitute a just peace. But they also have to let go of any intent to “win”
against the other. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">3.<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span></b><!--[endif]--><b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Would you be a priest in the Church
of England if you knew then, what you know now?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">In many ways, I think everything would have gone better for me if I had
not been ordained in the Church of England. But vocational decisions are never
simply a matter of choosing what’s “best for me” – if ministry does not involve
a certain degree of self-sacrifice, it isn’t worth much. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The fact is that there are very few places in the world where women are
received on an equal footing with men, so to some extent answering a call
anywhere is going to present challenges for women. I had already been living
out a calling for a long time before the priesthood opened to women at all, and
women before me spent entire lifetimes doing the same. Currently I work in an
ecumenical context, directing a ministry that encompasses people from more than
25 different denominations, as well as people with no denominational affiliation,
and the complexities of disagreement are as much present here as anywhere. So
in some ways living within the Church of England’s impasse has equipped me to
direct this ministry with courage and creativity. Consequently, even though I
felt I had to leave the Church of England for the time being, I remain tied to
it by many threads of friendship, and with genuine gratitude for all that I
learned through serving as a priest. I wouldn’t be who I am today without those
who taught me, and those who trained and worked alongside me – even those who presented
challenges to me in the process. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I also hope that in some small way I may have contributed to the Church’s
discovery that ordaining women is just as important as ordaining men. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">4.<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span></b><!--[endif]--><b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Do you think our training processes
for priesthood are ‘women-friendly’?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">To some extent, but not enough. Although I think the wider point is that training
processes need re-imagining for all kinds of people. Residential training is
still largely based on the model created for training post-graduate single men
before they got married – in essence, a monastic pattern that assumes the
participants have no responsibilities outside the walls of the college. I dare
say that worked well for 22-year old single men in the 19<sup>th</sup> century,
but present day Ordinands are at all stages of life, single, married, with
children or ageing parents to care for, and a one-size-fits-all pattern of
training puts excessive stress on all kinds of people. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The modular system at Yale Divinity School is quite effective. Some
students live on site and some a hundred miles away, and single or married,
with or without family, they are integrated into college life and able to
co-ordinate a full working week with their personal lives. Each student can
choose five working days with different start-times to suit their family needs
or commuting pattern. Some opt to work three or four extended days on site
instead of five. Every day classes stop for an hour mid-morning for the main
Chapel service so no-one has to miss Chapel. It isn’t perfect, of course, but
it does allow people to establish a full and thorough training pattern that is
compatible with their personal circumstances. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">5.<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span></b><!--[endif]--><b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">What advice would you give young
women in particular who wonder if they should be part of the Church of England?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I tend not to “give advice” on issues like that; I listen to what an
individual is thinking and feeling, encourage them to keep their eyes wide open
to the whole picture, and wherever possible not make big decisions in a hurry,
or in a state of distress. If people are considering changing Church allegiance
it’s important to remember there is no perfect church; it might be right to
stay, it might be better to leave. But while we can stand beside people while
they make those decisions in the end the decision has to be made by the person
themselves, not merely on the advice of someone else. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">6.<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span></b><!--[endif]--><b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Would you do anything differently in
your own journey?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">There are plenty of things I think I could have done better! But I always
remember these words of wisdom - from a philosopher, and a singer: Kierkegaard
once wrote that you can only live life forwards, and Piaf sang, <i>Je ne regrette rien</i>! None of us has the
benefit of foresight, and we would probably all do some things differently if
we knew back then what we know now. But it never ceases to amaze me that as we
make peace with our own lives, the future opens up in new and surprising ways.
I guess that’s in part what grace is all about. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">7.<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span></b><!--[endif]--><b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">What is your first love?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I can’t help but think of that Sunday School joke where a class is asked
a question, “What’s small and grey, has a long furry tail, and eats nuts?” – to
which a child answers, “I know the answer ought to be Jesus, but it sounds like
a squirrel to me.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The answer to this question has to be God, right? But if you mean on a
personal, inspirational level, then leaving aside God and my family and
friends, who are always the foundation of everything for me, the answer is
music. I could sing before I could walk, and began playing when I was five.
Music feels like my natural language. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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</span></span></b><!--[endif]--><b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Who has been your biggest
inspiration?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Musically, I go back and back to Daniel Lanois, Richard Thompson, Paul
Simon, Neil Finn, Joni Mitchell – all really groundbreaking writers. For in-depth
reading, Coleridge and others who write about him remain my big inspiration,
and I’m returning to write about him later this year. Most of all, though, it’s
personal relationship that inspires me – those people who have walked with me
for many years through life and work and music, and still have the capacity to
generate hope, laughter and new ideas. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">9.<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span></b><!--[endif]--><b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">What has been your deepest joy in
ministry?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I think daily joy comes from building great relationship with the people
I work with, and I have been outstandingly lucky in encountering many, many
people who have filled my working life with friendship and laughter. But that
“deep” thing? Whether it’s while I’ve been sitting with someone on their
deathbed, or creating liturgy, or playing music, or academic teaching, the joyful
moment always comes when I see some connection happen that is beyond me: some
sense of peace, a light going on in someone’s eyes, or the moment when
something “clicks”. It seems to me that we can create context for others, and faithfully
walk beside them, but when the true moment of inspiration comes it’s not
something we can make happen – it’s the work of God. Sometimes, of course, we
work for years with people and never see things come together for them, but now
and then there we’re lucky enough to witness those brilliant moments. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">10.<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></b><!--[endif]--><b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Have you enjoyed moving across the Pond?
Do you miss the CofE? England?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I am genuinely glad I made this move, although it hasn’t been easy at
all. Before I left England someone said to me, “it will take two whole years to
feel at home, so be prepared to do a lot of hanging in there”. Sure enough,
moving abroad was exhausting, lonely and expensive, but we are nearly two years
in now and my son and I are both beginning to flourish in our new context. We
have really loved cultivating a sense of adventure about this enormous country,
being able to climb hills and walk within a few feet of wild deer or birds
we’ve never seen before. There’s a lot to love about America! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The hardest thing about the move has been missing friends and family in
the UK. Thank goodness for internet technology which does keep us connected,
but a Skype conversation isn’t the same as a leisurely supper. Something I had
forgotten from last time I lived abroad is that you miss the easy familiarity
of knowing how everything works, and of being established in a community. I
miss walking down any street in Cambridge and seeing 10 people I know, and being
45 minutes from London and 4 hours from Paris. It’s hard work starting all over
again, but my son and I have determinedly kept our sense of humour, and we are
gradually finding a new home here, and some new friends too. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">11.<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></b><!--[endif]--><b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">In your book you speak of being amazed by the productivity that comes
from not having to question yourself constantly: what does that ‘look’ like?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I couldn’t have imagined how different this would be. It wasn’t until I
went to work every day and did NOT find an underlying suspicion about whether I
was competent, just because I am a woman. This is not a denominational issue;
it comes from working in a University that has done a huge amount of work for
20 years and more to ensure that women are treated on the same footing as men
in the professional space. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">What it looks like is hard to describe, but I find that in many of the
small details of my working day – such as writing an email, preparing a paper
for a committee, speaking up in a Deans’ meeting, or giving directions to my
team – I work faster on these background tasks because I don’t have to
second-guess underlying sexist responses or misunderstandings. And I can
delegate easily; people don’t assume I should be doing certain tasks just
because I’m a woman. Consequently I have more energy and time for the work I am
here to do – academic teaching, writing, creating liturgy, and working on the
formation of student ministers in the liturgical sphere. At the end of a normal
working day I am not drained and exhausted, and still have the energy to write
or play music or paint. </span><span style="line-height: 18px;"><br /></span><br />
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<!--[endif]--><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">12.<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></b><!--[endif]--><b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Is the CofE going to run itself aground?
Is the deadlock fatal or is there really hope?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">One of the difficulties the CofE faces with an issue like this is that
institutional processes take months and years, so promises seem to be being
shelved or broken, and meantime people are losing faith in the Church. I’ve
worked in large and small institutions before, and I understand that processes
run far slower when the bureaucracy is large and complex. All the same, there
is a case, when an institution’s processes are threatening to strangle it, to
find a way to cut through the red tape. Maybe this is one of those times.
Institutions may be complicated but they are not powerless. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I do feel concerned when people say that we should just wrap up this
issue and get on with “what the gospel is <i>really</i>
about”. In fact, I think this is mistaken thinking. At the heart of this issue there
is at least some degree of institutional sexism, which, along with all the
other –isms and –phobias, is a matter of justice and freedom for real people.
That <i>is</i> – in part, at least – what
the gospel is about. The church’s institutional sexism urgently needs to be
addressed, and it’s worth every ounce of effort to do so. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">13.<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></b><!--[endif]--><b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">How do you keep going in ministry when it’s tough?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">First, I stop and breathe. Thomas Merton once said that working without
stopping is a form of violence, and working without stopping is the biggest
temptation for many clergy. One of my favourite gospel moments is Matthew 13:1
– mostly in the gospels we read that Jesus went of by himself “to pray” – but
here he simply “went out and sat by the sea.” Sometimes even before you can
pray coherently, I think you need to stop, and breathe, and listen (and, as I
said in the book, by the sea is my favourite place to do that!). <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Secondly, I fill parts of my life with things I love that are not
directly part of ministry. One of the reasons ministers run dry is when we “run
on empty” – and it’s so easy to fall into a pattern where we work all the time.
The truth, though, is that we are stronger, more creative, and less likely to
be overwhelmed by difficulties if to we are rested, inspired, and regularly
filled with whatever makes us tick. For me, that is a long walk with my son,
playing music, reading literature, or viewing art or theatre. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">14.<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></b><!--[endif]--><b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Does our understanding of priesthood need to change?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I’m not sure it needs to change exactly, but it does need to be
clarified, because without a clear sense of why the Church ordains anyone, it’s
easy for false ideas to grow up around the priesthood. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">When I was in my early 20s I joined a group of people in my parish who
used to go and read to Bishop Lesslie Newbigin, whose eyesight was beginning to
fail. He always argued that the simplest interpretation of the ordinal was the
best one: that we are ordained to word and sacrament, nothing more, nothing
less. We certainly are not ordained to be managers or CEOs or community leaders
(even if we additionally bring some of those gifts to the church). In particular he used this as an argument against
lay presidency at the Eucharist, maintaining that the only legitimate reason to
ordain anyone is so that they preside over the sacraments. We don’t need to
ordain people in order to make them leaders or managers, nor even preachers and
pastors – anything that lay people can legitimately do is not a reason to
ordain, Newbigin argued, or it implies that ordination makes them more
important than lay people who can carry out the same tasks. A proper
understanding of ordination maintains respect for the sacraments rather than
the priests, and places priesthood in its proper relationship to the “priesthood
of all believers”, in the sense that the work of the gospel is undertaken by
the whole church, not just the clergy. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">15.<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></b><!--[endif]--><b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">What is your message to our (male) bishops?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The book is the message, really. I pray for our Bishops, and keep in
touch with a number of them whom I know personally, and I don’t underestimate
the complexity of what they have to do. But I want to see them make good on their
promise to include women in their HoB meetings, and have the courage to do what
they are almost all agreed on – that we must, as soon as possible, resolve this
issue. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">16.<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></b><!--[endif]--><b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Will you return to us in the UK?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Yes! I long to come home. (Get the kettle on, Jody!) But for now I have a
deep sense of calling in this new setting, and so I think I will be working
here for a while yet. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Jody Stowellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15534042687275254272noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6356363460965043698.post-26849164603858089352013-06-27T23:17:00.001+01:002013-06-27T23:17:59.019+01:00Doing it in PublicI was so excited to write for Threads, which has the Christian New Media Award for Best Christian Blog.<br />
<br />
You can read my first contribution commenting on the #viralvicar and Christianity in the public square, here: <a href="http://www.threadsuk.com/doing-it-in-public/">http://www.threadsuk.com/doing-it-in-public/</a><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5gfR7FRXOLTVQ6vhNLuEZdD2DdDmG80rO-B-mJsoofVf5_N3lzLvyoMygwOjcl947uSQKU71W5ZJmkDTd_PEGW1FITbgThSAAvZ_n4FcWLVJBUR85oworxlzqhj5gqY0p39uQXGOjoao/s1600/kate+bottley+dancing.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="360" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5gfR7FRXOLTVQ6vhNLuEZdD2DdDmG80rO-B-mJsoofVf5_N3lzLvyoMygwOjcl947uSQKU71W5ZJmkDTd_PEGW1FITbgThSAAvZ_n4FcWLVJBUR85oworxlzqhj5gqY0p39uQXGOjoao/s640/kate+bottley+dancing.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />Jody Stowellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15534042687275254272noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6356363460965043698.post-21532506464614398762013-06-08T13:38:00.001+01:002013-06-08T13:39:32.276+01:00Fleshy Hearts and Tissue Paper Skin<div style="text-align: justify;">
Thanks to everyone who looked at, voted, commented on the poll that I created to ask the question of what we're thinking on same-sex relationships.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
You can find the results here: <a href="http://poll.pollcode.com/oqjjd_result?v">http://poll.pollcode.com/oqjjd_result?v</a></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Of course a poll is just a poll. We cannot draw evidenced conclusions about exactly what everyone thinks in depth on the issue.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
And of course that was never the point.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjm7eMu2kRQpcYVx4aPeIRsaBZ5XanqfAZdngjof0WdR2x1IFlBW3FcPFkG8JaTYevn_uj2XDEsg2GySpqbpziIaXPX9JksGmn6wm9D0YT61DkmXY90oxFiTRZuNfAtK-08jXiZc5EIq9I/s1600/broken+heart.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjm7eMu2kRQpcYVx4aPeIRsaBZ5XanqfAZdngjof0WdR2x1IFlBW3FcPFkG8JaTYevn_uj2XDEsg2GySpqbpziIaXPX9JksGmn6wm9D0YT61DkmXY90oxFiTRZuNfAtK-08jXiZc5EIq9I/s1600/broken+heart.jpg" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
So what was the point?</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Simply this - to find out if there was a conversation to be had within my own constituency.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
And it seems there is.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
We need to have a serious reality check here. For those of us in the evangelical wing we are so good at keeping quiet for fear of being disowned.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
This is understandable. I've been there and continue to feel the pull of belonging. But in the end, be under no illusion, belonging at the expense of your integrity, it is death to the soul.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Let me be clear, I don't have a worked out theology or ethic on sexuality. What I do know is that I do not want to be part of anything where the conversations, the questions, the doubts, the compassion, the mistakes, life stripped bare, squashy fleshy hearts and tissue paper thin skin are considered things to be ignored or defeated or that somehow they have nothing to do with theology or ethics.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
So here's the deal. There's a conversation to be had. Let's have it.</div>
Jody Stowellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15534042687275254272noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6356363460965043698.post-18303468632506205472013-06-06T08:38:00.001+01:002013-06-06T17:31:28.596+01:00What DO Open Evangelicals Really Think About Gay Relationships?This post is short but sweet - I really really want to know where the Open Evangelical mind is on permanent gay relationships. [note: to respond to the question below, I am assuming there will be a sexual aspect]<br />
<br />
We have had a lot in the press because of the marriage bill and Christians are making all kinds of statements all over the place.<br />
<br />
Soooo, here's a little poll to try to draw together an idea of where Open Evos are at.<br />
<br />
If you don't identify with the Open Evo label, you're welcome to comment - as is everyone taking the poll anyway - but I'd quite like the poll to reflect where my own particular constituency are at, thanks!<br />
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Go for it.......<br />
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<br />
<form action="http://poll.pollcode.com/oqjjd" method="post">
<table background="http://cdn.boardhost.com/bg/carbon.gif" bgcolor="EEEEEE" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="2" style="width: 175px;"><tbody>
<tr><td colspan="2"><span style="color: white; font-family: Verdana; font-size: x-small;"><b>What is your primary response to permanent same-sex relationships?</b></span></td></tr>
<tr><td width="5"><input id="oqjjdanswer1" name="answer" type="radio" value="1" /></td><td><span style="color: white; font-family: Verdana; font-size: x-small;"><label for="oqjjdanswer1">They are completely permissible in Christian discipleship</label></span></td></tr>
<tr><td width="5"><input id="oqjjdanswer2" name="answer" type="radio" value="2" /></td><td><span style="color: white; font-family: Verdana; font-size: x-small;"><label for="oqjjdanswer2">They are not a faithful Christian way of life</label></span></td></tr>
<tr><td width="5"><input id="oqjjdanswer3" name="answer" type="radio" value="3" /></td><td><span style="color: white; font-family: Verdana; font-size: x-small;"><label for="oqjjdanswer3">They could be a faithful biblical response</label></span></td></tr>
<tr><td width="5"><input id="oqjjdanswer4" name="answer" type="radio" value="4" /></td><td><span style="color: white; font-family: Verdana; font-size: x-small;"><label for="oqjjdanswer4">I affirm hetero marriage, but see goodness in gay relationships too</label></span></td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2"><center>
<input type="submit" value=" Vote " /> <input name="view" type="submit" value=" View " /></center>
</td></tr>
<tr><td align="right" colspan="2"><span style="color: white; font-family: Verdana; font-size: xx-small;">pollcode.com <a href="http://pollcode.com/"><span style="color: white; font-family: Verdana; font-size: xx-small;">free polls</span></a> </span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</form>
Jody Stowellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15534042687275254272noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6356363460965043698.post-65192375922518870022013-05-10T10:58:00.001+01:002013-05-15T08:23:05.278+01:00Remember the Phoenix<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #494949; line-height: 24.375px;">[Note: having received all kinds of responses about this post, negative, positive and everything in between, I need to clarify a couple of things. Firstly, what I have written is a reflection on the *responses* to this event. Those who have pointed out that we don't know what has happened, are correct, we don't. Secondly, the point of what I write is that our responses happen regardless, which is evident. I say below that whatever ordained women 'do', they do </span><i style="color: #494949; line-height: 24.375px;">as women</i><span style="color: #494949; line-height: 24.375px;">, even if something is not </span><i style="color: #494949; line-height: 24.375px;">explicitly about gender</i><span style="color: #494949; line-height: 24.375px;"> because that is the primary way we are interpreted</span><span style="color: #494949; line-height: 24.375px;">. We are perceived as *women* priests and it is nonsense to pretend otherwise. Our responses are based on this perception. Lastly, the 'She' I write about below is the symbolic ordained woman.]</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Most of you will have seen the news that Janet Henderson has <a href="http://www.walesonline.co.uk/news/wales-news/dean-of-llandaff-cathedral-quits-3567892">resigned her post as the Dean of Llandaff Cathedral</a> due to, as a source has said a '<span style="background-color: white; color: #494949; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24.375px;">difficult time since her appointment, with some clergy resenting the appointment of a woman.'</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #494949; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24.375px;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #494949;"><span style="line-height: 24.375px;">What a gut-punch.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #494949;"><span style="line-height: 24.375px;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #494949;"><span style="line-height: 24.375px;">I've heard all kinds of responses on Twitter and Facebook.</span></span><br />
<br /></div>
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<span style="color: #494949;"><span style="line-height: 24.375px;">Most have been sad and outraged.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #494949;"><span style="line-height: 24.375px;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #494949;"><span style="line-height: 24.375px;">Some have likened it to <a href="http://www.churchtimes.co.uk/articles/2012/14-december/news/uk/i-would-not-be-a-focus-for-unity-philip-north-withdraws-from-bishop-of-whitby-post">Philip North resigning as Bishop of Whitby</a>. Now, lots of people won't like what I'm about to type. Personally, I thought Philip North was courageous for withdrawing from this post, and I admit that I felt rather sad about it all - what have we got ourselves into, I thought. I don't know how the circle will be squared on this one, and in many senses it would be much easier if I could generate hate and spite for the lot of them - but I can't and I won't.</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #494949;"><span style="line-height: 24.375px;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #494949;"><span style="line-height: 24.375px;">To fall into cliche...some of my good friends are Forward in Faith (Anglo Catholics who don't think we should ordain women). In fact one man in particular *always* comes into my mind when I begin to think of people leaving the CofE...because of me. He's kind and gentle and encouraging, he affirms me and yes, my <i>priesthood</i>,</span></span><span style="color: #494949; line-height: 24.375px;"> and he loves loves loves Jesus (and Mary ;) ). I honestly don't know how he does it and stays integrated with his own beliefs about women in the priesthood - I'm not sure that he does, I think it's painful.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #494949; line-height: 24.375px;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #494949; line-height: 24.375px;">So, don't ever tell me that I just want 'them' to leave.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #494949; line-height: 24.375px;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #494949; line-height: 24.375px;">But to compare Philip North's story to that of Janet Henderson is simply offensive. And here's the bit that people won't like...it is one thing to be the object of hate, spite and derision (we can only imagine the experiences that caused a capable, experienced priest to have to leave), and it is quite another to be told, as Philip North was, that the people who are <i>your </i>objects of exclusion, are not considered such by others - and to hold those people as objects of exclusion is not considered acceptable any more.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #494949; line-height: 24.375px;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #494949; line-height: 24.375px;">It is very different for a woman to say 'I can't stay because <i>I'm </i>a woman', and a man to say 'I can't stay because <i>you're</i> a woman'. The object remains as the woman - <i>she </i>bears her shame and <i>she</i> bears his distaste. She bears it.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #494949;"><span style="line-height: 24.375px;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #494949;"><span style="line-height: 24.375px;">Just to be clear, this is what ordained women in the CofE, and clearly in the CinW, have to live with. It is in their psyche, their DNA as ordained people. When we are in a deanery chapter, a synod, a diocese, a meeting - these are the dynamics at play, whether they are overt or not. This is not to bleat on about it - I know that it's uncomfortable and people want to dismiss it or pretend it's not that bad or say they don't feel it's like that for them. Yes, I know. I'm in one of the best Areas of London Diocese, London being not considered 'women friendly'. My Bishop is out and proud about his affirmation of the ordination and consecration of women, I don't experience overt sexism on a daily basis. I'm very grateful and love my job. So I <i>know </i>that some of you hate it when I bring up the fact that we can't really escape the effects of choosing to be in an institution that is ambivalent about us. An institution where we are the objects of our own and others opinions of us. I know you don't like me to say that there is only so much of that which can remain external. Because we're meant to be strong and let it wash off us, right? But this is the pool that we swim in, and we can't help but drink the water.</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #494949;"><span style="line-height: 24.375px;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #494949;"><span style="line-height: 24.375px;">So, no, it's not the same thing as Philip North.</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #494949;"><span style="line-height: 24.375px;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #494949;"><span style="line-height: 24.375px;">Some have said 'she should have stuck it out'.</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #494949;"><span style="line-height: 24.375px;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #494949;"><span style="line-height: 24.375px;">Ah, now, this is tricky isn't it? Part of my response to this story was entirely selfish, I don't mind admitting. Every time a woman soars in the church, becomes who she is meant to be, which includes leading in senior positions - where her capability, her priesthood, her experience, her wisdom is honoured and nourished...every time I see that happen, I can breathe again. Phew...it's possible. If it's possible for them, then it's possible for me. I spend a lot of my time in various spaces choosing to be more than I can imagine I can be - I suggest you all do the same - but sometimes I hit a wall. I run out of imagination. I know that I need to step into God's imagination, God's understanding of what my potential really is, but sometimes I can't.</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #494949;"><span style="line-height: 24.375px;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #494949;"><span style="line-height: 24.375px;">And then a story like this hits the headlines, or I hear about another woman who can't find a job, or I get rebuffed from speaking at places where my face doesn't fit, or I see conference after conference where the overwhelming majority of speakers are blokes, or I see women defending their territory because it's so small and that's what they've had to do...for years. God have mercy.</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #494949;"><span style="line-height: 24.375px;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #494949;"><span style="line-height: 24.375px;">And it's like a perfect storm.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #494949;"><span style="line-height: 24.375px;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #494949;"><span style="line-height: 24.375px;">Sometimes I crash.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #494949;"><span style="line-height: 24.375px;">So, even though I disagree (who can make that choice for someone else?) I understand the sentiment - 'she should have stuck it out'</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #494949;"><span style="line-height: 24.375px;">She should have stuck it out - so that we can hope.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #494949;"><span style="line-height: 24.375px;">She should have stuck it out - so that the bullies don't win</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #494949;"><span style="line-height: 24.375px;">She should have stuck it out - so that she can be our symbol</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #494949;"><span style="line-height: 24.375px;">She should have stuck it out - so that the path is forged</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #494949;"><span style="line-height: 24.375px;">And once again *she* is the object. She bears it. Our hopes, our desires. She bears it.</span></span></div>
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHSF6QWq4WXR9YvxKPrQUSdQ9MTSZnAQwWRiW6uJppSKfA-siK1LCglX6lk7rcjLgDstNFpV_a8AkXQJ6MeAJbxlK8d9T__2xQUkKXKS6idb3TUifZyuxHJZ4JSVXILSWVBUojIAnzc1E/s1600/phoenix+woman.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHSF6QWq4WXR9YvxKPrQUSdQ9MTSZnAQwWRiW6uJppSKfA-siK1LCglX6lk7rcjLgDstNFpV_a8AkXQJ6MeAJbxlK8d9T__2xQUkKXKS6idb3TUifZyuxHJZ4JSVXILSWVBUojIAnzc1E/s640/phoenix+woman.jpg" width="427" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.jjstudio7.com/focus.php?gallery=0&id=58">Phoenix</a></td></tr>
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<span style="color: #494949;"><span style="line-height: 24.375px;">Women in the church at the moment will carry all of this. We do not simply do the job, we do the job as a woman (I know you don't want it to be so, but it is so). In front of eyes that hope for us, because we carry their dreams, or in front of eyes that wait for us to fall, because we bear their fears. It is inevitable at this moment in time.</span></span></div>
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And sometimes the story is not all 'triumph in the face of adversity', sometimes people die.</div>
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But.</div>
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Deep breath.</div>
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Remember the Phoenix.</div>
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A symbol of resurrection, beautiful and bright, burned and born out of the ashes of her demise.</div>
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In mythology, the Phoenix has tears which heal and the strength to bear loads way beyond her size.</div>
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So remember the Phoenix. She bears it.</div>
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Jody Stowellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15534042687275254272noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6356363460965043698.post-53131894725227050112013-04-11T16:40:00.001+01:002013-04-12T12:49:55.680+01:00Evangelicalism and Me up a Tree...<div style="text-align: justify;">
Recently I've had some engagements on Twitter with people who are determined that I am not an evangelical Christian. I suspect that what they really mean is that they are not sure I'm actually a 'proper' Christian at all.</div>
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Yawn.</div>
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There is really no point in arguing with people like this and I do not intend to, however I do want to tell you that, having gone through some wrestling with my evangelical heritage, I am proud to be an evangelical, I think evangelicalism is a<i> good</i> part of the Christian traditions and I may have a 'Jody-shaped' evangelicalism, but it is evangelicalism none-the-less. I know this because I'm lucky enough to work with and be friends with people from other traditions - and I know I am not that. I also know that no matter how irksome some evangelical behaviours/jargon/assumptions are to me, I can no more be 'not evangelical' than I can be 'not Scottish'.</div>
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifh-031jYFxkrg_MPn2jkIq8FkoGmoTceNdNSNkDW5ZidcNSKLA1ZJaoN3hdkuun9s4Ids2wHu0-6NsuoWfAFj9KKxFZ38uev6bvZUfYvq-EFzEzb3hl4cd1eZ_v5LdfiAphQw9I8XCio/s1600/tambourinecartoon.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: justify;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifh-031jYFxkrg_MPn2jkIq8FkoGmoTceNdNSNkDW5ZidcNSKLA1ZJaoN3hdkuun9s4Ids2wHu0-6NsuoWfAFj9KKxFZ38uev6bvZUfYvq-EFzEzb3hl4cd1eZ_v5LdfiAphQw9I8XCio/s400/tambourinecartoon.gif" width="337" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.cartoonchurch.com/blog/2006/11/22/religious-discrimination/">cartoonchurch</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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So, because people seem to be Very Keen on statements of faith, I thought I would make up my own definition of 'Jody-shaped' evangelical faith and here it is:</div>
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1. God exists</div>
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2. God thinks I'm fab</div>
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3. God came to the Earth as a human being, Jesus</div>
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4. God is present in the world by the Holy Spirit</div>
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5. God saves me, I'm not sure exactly how</div>
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6. Incarnation is important</div>
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7. The Cross is important</div>
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8. The Resurrection is most important</div>
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9. Holy Saturday is quite significant too come to that</div>
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10. The Bible is awesome</div>
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11. Other people are made in God's Image</div>
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12. God is beyond my imagination</div>
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13. God is good.</div>
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14. I should do something about these things, otherwise my head will explode</div>
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there are of course other things such as 'We should pray', 'I don't care if this is called being an evangelical or not' and 'tribes and exclusion are marks of sin and nothing to be proud of' - but I thought these were outworking of points 14 and 11.</div>
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Anyway, let me know what your shaped evangelicalism looks like or write your own blogpost and send me a link. We could start a trend 'stop evangelical facism now!' or something. Anyway, be free, be creative, own your own identity and let me know how you understand your own faith.</div>
Jody Stowellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15534042687275254272noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6356363460965043698.post-57861594825363563882013-02-23T14:17:00.002+00:002013-02-23T21:26:30.943+00:00England's Women<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWYh-swZlbpapOvNUOXw-edatYLRUqQMKUtGLSLgDv7n8uSDcJbZ1ALd2dn9XzxVV9ZEKqXbHzfupENQWnvBdyH8U_MGYLqcVIpfReHg3nGP3cFPP7ho91SQUek4HEVHkhmFtQAKifQP8/s1600/womenbishopsarewenearlythereyet.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="360" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWYh-swZlbpapOvNUOXw-edatYLRUqQMKUtGLSLgDv7n8uSDcJbZ1ALd2dn9XzxVV9ZEKqXbHzfupENQWnvBdyH8U_MGYLqcVIpfReHg3nGP3cFPP7ho91SQUek4HEVHkhmFtQAKifQP8/s640/womenbishopsarewenearlythereyet.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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I wrote last month on a small part of the whole host of biblical background which undergirds the necessity of women bishops. We are now another month on and I wondered about writing <i>again</i> on women bishops, surely we are all getting bored with people banging <i>on</i> and <i>on</i> about it.</div>
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And that's the trouble. We are now just over three months on from the vote on 20th November that saw over a decade (and more, depending on where you begin your count) of work, reports, meetings, discussions and legislative consideration go down the drain. It was crushing for those who had been part of those talks for a very long time, who had felt that the Measure that sank was the best that had come out of all the possible permutations that were available. I have seen men and women with heavy hearts over the last few months. Really. This is not a joke. It can be soul-destroying. I have wondered myself, how these people will continue their work on this having received this door being slammed in their faces, a door that has been slammed before and which will, in all reality, be slammed again, a number of times, before women bishops become a reality.</div>
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The sheer drudge and monotony of <i>keeping going </i>is the reality of the life of the activist.</div>
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The sheen of fame, fortune and glamour that surrounded the issue last November has dulled. The outrage has distilled. There are those who got a smack in the face and who wanted to sit up and do something, but three months on, stuff takes over, there are other things to do. And that is right...there <i>are</i> other things to do.</div>
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But not for me.</div>
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And maybe not for you.</div>
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If that is so, then keep reading, for this post is for you.</div>
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Your heart is stirred, you feel that you have been caught up in a story so much bigger than yourself and you do not care that you may be a small part of that story, swallowed up in the bigger tale that will be told when, some day, in the future, a woman will don her mitre in this land as a sign and a symbol that the Kingdom of God is recovering its Image.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcceUwgjYNNkopweAe2hK0qVl8ABqdCQOmtEA59AdU7gu3J-Kl_na9Cz0aOcR43nCRVbK60QEPlCccLDaMWJaG4sw2UfHaEr7nDIYkG63LQ-2kpazk_tRO6L69Gt_jj5mNb3D6QWoaenM/s1600/poverty+has+a+woman's+face.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcceUwgjYNNkopweAe2hK0qVl8ABqdCQOmtEA59AdU7gu3J-Kl_na9Cz0aOcR43nCRVbK60QEPlCccLDaMWJaG4sw2UfHaEr7nDIYkG63LQ-2kpazk_tRO6L69Gt_jj5mNb3D6QWoaenM/s320/poverty+has+a+woman's+face.jpg" width="316" /></a></div>
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That a mitre on the head of a woman in the Church of England will be a mark of the restoration of all things, where women and men begin again to stand alongside each other as equal partners in God's mission. That this future sight will mean that we no longer collude in the belief, worldwide, that women are a radically different type of human being to men, so much so that she can be privatised, beaten, sold, starved, deprived of education and medicine in order that the true human, men, can survive.</div>
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We live with the knowledge that this will be our shame throughout future generations, that we colluded for so long, <i>too long,</i> in the disfiguring of the Image of God: that women have been tortured and killed and men have been dehumanised in the process.</div>
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We work so that the time of our shame will be finite. The calling is high, but it is a long, arduous and sometimes downright <i>boring</i> road. It is a road filled with meetings and writing, reading and talking, synods and lectures. Occasionally we will be part of historic moments, such as 20th November 2012, we may even find ourselves being interviewed or staging a protest...occasionally. Mostly however it's plod, but it is plod with that image in your mind, ever before you: the mitre, as if tongues of flame, descending on a woman's head, in the CofE, this romantic heartland of Anglicanism, and the explosion as our shame is ended.</div>
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But mostly it is emailing and stuffing envelopes and intentionally behaving as if women should and must be bishops. Boring perhaps, but if this is your calling, I can tell you now that you will not escape it, it has caught you up.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgO2O_Y7ho4A92FM_LW6cYyjzxC0DulJDQshqMkBKHvfWlTh8BUAy1oN9_-CHcUZrfLtMeRFMiY4WHAiEU11qZi8TMCI43qt2qsxku_kROSoAJfL2vypAH3FxCKQHSxkuBB1ZEKOzof-dA/s1600/William+Wilberforce.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgO2O_Y7ho4A92FM_LW6cYyjzxC0DulJDQshqMkBKHvfWlTh8BUAy1oN9_-CHcUZrfLtMeRFMiY4WHAiEU11qZi8TMCI43qt2qsxku_kROSoAJfL2vypAH3FxCKQHSxkuBB1ZEKOzof-dA/s320/William+Wilberforce.jpg" width="275" /></a></div>
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How do we keep going in this sometimes arid land? When people think we are a little mad and we wonder it ourselves every so often? I think of Wilberforce - yes I own our struggle in the same vein as that great activist, hubris perhaps, but I don't think that Wilberforce ever thought of himself as anything less or more than I have described above. We are caught up in a part of the Christian story that is both ancient and new - the foundation story of our faith is that of the liberation from slavery, liberation to freedom. We own the Exodus story, as groups and peoples have before us. It is beyond and before Wilberforce's cause, and it will transcend ours, because it is God's. We share the DNA of Wilberforce because it is about liberation and re-humanising ourselves in the truth of the equality of every human being before God. Wilberforce worked for decades because of this truth that he held in his imagination. But he was firstly a politician, and he was firstly a politician because he believed he could make things better. It is a small suggestion perhaps. Initially it wasn't to do with God, he was embarrassed by his fervent evangelical relations. But soon the belief in his own ability to make things better, to know better how a country might be run, became infused with the desire to change the world, fuelled by exactly that embarrassing fervent evangelicalism. Well thank God for embarrassing passions!</div>
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Wilberforce was fed by God's own imagination, if we rely on our own then we are doomed. Our imaginations do not carry us far enough, they are not big enough, fast enough, broad enough and they do not let us be embarrassed enough. God's imagination is playful, but it is also bright and hard as diamonds, it exposes the flaw and breaks the heart. Once you have been infected by God, there is no going back, you cannot simply <i>choose</i> to imagine something different. God's reality is burned into your mind's eye with a ferocity that can never be 'fixed'. And are we not glad!</div>
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If this is you, then you will be drinking this up as if I have given you a long awaited glass of water. Or perhaps a top up along an already well trodden path for you. I think I may have lost some of you along the way, don't worry, we'll see each other again soon.</div>
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For those who are still with me - let's keep going, keep walking together, one day the tongues of fire will descend and we will laugh and embarrass our grand-children, who will not understand the story into which they are born. We will send them off into a new story, ancient and new of course, where they will find their own God-given cause and perhaps recover our story in order to live theirs.</div>
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And if their story continues to be women bishops? So be it. One day there will be tongues of fire that descend on the beating heart of England's women.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglg8cpjbtXjj4-Mo_1vvk02IhZU8EFsZXM0EWNyR4EnAjUv1pIqC4A5OkicQHI0b9d9FMPaj6MmlsbcU3XbwUXUj9ZVYnXUjWnKgOVG0pwmhe73CEbW7aOurzCcG26PGgzCNDGv97su6U/s1600/girls+in+mitres.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglg8cpjbtXjj4-Mo_1vvk02IhZU8EFsZXM0EWNyR4EnAjUv1pIqC4A5OkicQHI0b9d9FMPaj6MmlsbcU3XbwUXUj9ZVYnXUjWnKgOVG0pwmhe73CEbW7aOurzCcG26PGgzCNDGv97su6U/s640/girls+in+mitres.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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Jody Stowellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15534042687275254272noreply@blogger.com4