so term starts on sunday and here i am at the end of the summer.

so am i ready for term?

only time will tell i guess. i've got some survival strategies for the next year, which include a rather large dose of things that do not include going to college. in fact one of those things meant that this evening i was sewing elastic on my ballet shoes, which is something that i had to do for tali when she was 3, and was ever so slightly weird on my size 7 shoes :D

anyway, that's my plan, do things that mean i keep one foot in real life, with real people, doing real things, preferably things that bring me to life and make me laugh and smile.

i'm in the throes of trying to find a curacy and something VERY exciting has come up, but not sure it is going to work out yet, but it's quite exciting that this is a process that i can really see is open to the holy spirit being involved, even though it's institutional and sometimes it can feel very fixed. it can feel like it's just a factory, that you're pushed through theological college and then shoved into a curacy. there's an interesting amount of fear that circulates during the process, which is mixed in with a pseudo-spiritual thing which can result in us not really being allowed to ask for a particular thing or ask for the desires of our heart. people are told that they can't be too fussy, that if they are too particular in what they want they'll be 'left on the shelf' effectively. but then there is the other side, the curates who i know whose curacies have been the worst years of their lives.

my own journey through that process has been interesting, and i don't want to talk too much about it here, but it actually was part of my own liberation from feeling an obligation to being part of the renewal of the evangelical tradition. for reasons that shall remain unblogged, i have felt that God has given me permission to ask for what i want. so i did.

daddy, i want......

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